ENGLAND’S footballers play in Brazil tomorrow, just over a year away from the next World Cup being held beneath the sun-bleached skies of South America’s ballsiest nation.

As yet, qualification for summer 2014 has not been finalised, so this might well be the only time the current crop of players get to go to the Maracana, whose most famous exponent is associated with applying the tag “the beautiful game”.

After the midweek friendly between England and the Republic of Ireland at Wembley, the likelihood of qualifying grew less optimistic, though the normal course of events could well see the three lions negotiate the group only to collapse in the knockout stages.

Whatever, even given the denuded squad manager Roy Hodgson had to work with, the display at Wembley was dismal, dire, dreary, and dispatched many a viewer into that land known as the doldrums.

Jogo bonito it was not. And neither the showing of the squad, nor the demeanour of coach Hodgson, suggests England will capture the spirit of jogo bonito any time soon.

The 1-1 draw was more akin to the scrappy play-off duel between Crystal Palace and Watford which preceded it at Wembley, rather than the masterful European Champions League showdown between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund which went before the all-London tilt beneath that iconic arch.

Hodgson’s formation and tactics should have the suffix of “saurus” attached. They are not just drawn from the dark ages as Gary Lineker opined, with some justification for once, but more Neolithic.

The brightness and brilliance of the Bayern-Dortmund game was only related to the England-Eire snore-draw by the fact there were 11 players a side and a ball on the pitch in both fixtures.

A quick straw poll of the Walmgate sportsdesk the day after the night before revealed that no one had watched the match in full.

“What did you do while England played on Wednesday night?” drew a variety of answers – reading a book, listening to music, doing anything other than watching. Checking the plumbing was deemed more productive than eyes glazing over the less than excellence of Messrs Johnson, Cahill, Carrick, Oxlade-Chamberlain and Defoe.

In mitigation, it has been a long season, several potential players were missing and a friendly at this juncture was nothing more than paying the bill for the “new” Wembley and the shifting of the new England shirts. They might resemble the Germany jerseys of the 1960s and 1970s, but they have all the colour of East Germany before the wall came tumbling down.

Maybe when the qualification group resumes hostilities England may well flourish, but the current set-up does not provide any confidence of such an upswing in form and performance.

Hodgson and England are too shackled to the past. Too conservative, too boring, too much of a maddening muchness.

So I posed the question to the rest of the sportsdesk just who would they pick for their first-choice England XI to freshen up the state of the national team.

I’ll start with myself (it’s my column after all) – (4-2-3-1 formation): Joe Hart; Martin Kelly, Steven Caulker, Phil Jagielka, Leighton Baines; Steven Gerrard, Adam Lallana; Theo Walcott, Jack Wilshere, Danny Welbeck; Wayne Rooney.

Dave Flett – (4-3-3 or 4-2-1-3): Joe Hart; Glen Johnson, Phil Jones, Chris Smalling, Leighton Baines; Jack Wilshere, Lee Cattermole, Joe Cole; Theo Walcott, Andy Carroll, Wayne Rooney.

Peter Martini – (4-5-1 swiftly turning to 4-3-3 when appropriate): Joe Hart; Glen Johnson, Gary Cahill, Chris Smalling, Leighton Baines; Frank Lampard, Gareth Barry, Jack Wilshere; Theo Walcott, Danny Welbeck; Wayne Rooney.

Steve Carroll – (4-2-3-1): Joe Hart; Martin Kelly, Gary Cahill, Phil Jagielka, Leighton Baines; Steven Gerrard, Michael Carrick; Theo Walcott, Jack Wilshere, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain; Wayne Rooney.

Stuart Martel – “No idea – I haven’t watched an England game or a Premier League game for years, so wouldn’t know where to start. Scrap the national team.”

Perhaps, the sports editor’s views are the most pertinent of the lot.

 

GOOD on Everton fans – one of those phrases I thought I’d never write. But no fewer than 23,000 supporters of the Toffees were so incensed at changes to the club badge they signed an online petition.

The new design – one of those modern creations that erode a club’s heritage – had dispensed with the famous ‘nil satis, nisi optimum’ motto.

The ‘nothing but the best is good enough’ Latin phrase is as much Everton as Alex Young, Gwladys Street and the toffee lady herself, so well done.

Also, as a Reds fan it’s so reassuring to have your city rivals’ motto start with the word ‘nil’.