Well I've tried to "enjoy" the January Sales but have to confess I'm not really built to handle the scrum the way it is today.

You go to the "Men's" section and start to browse, only to find quick little hands darting here and there, bodies pushing in and out, elbows punishing your lumbering stability, and items you were viewing only milliseconds ago disappearing into a basket and out of sight. It really isn't on!

So what's the problem? Sexual equality, there just isn't any when it comes to shopping as women have taken over completely. I remember the days when shops like Burton's used to sell "Menswear" and the only women you'd ever see in the shop were quietly accompanying their boyfriends or husbands. A skilled shop-worker would arrive and measure your chest, waist and leg, show you where your sizes were and discreetly disappear while you fumbled your way through and chose something. Now I have to compete with women who practice shopping as soon as they can walk, have an inbuilt eye for a bargain, can size a garment from thirty feet away and have elbows like spear-points. It simply isn't fair.

Dear old BHS hasn't helped by mercilessly moving Menswear upstairs, next to the Cafeteria, where diners can amuse themselves by watching male shoppers blunder through the shopping experience. Surely I can't be the only man who feels like this?

Perhaps we could have a bit of positive discrimination with "Men Only" nights, where we can shop slowly and privately. We might even pick up a bargain......!!!!