LISTENING is an under-rated skill. We quite often spend a good 80 per cent of the time talking at another person in any interaction when the research shows that effective communication requires us to do only 20 per cent.

Even when we are listening, we're often thinking about the next thing we want to say, so it’s hardly quality of attention. You can improve your results dramatically by switching the focus from talking to listening next time you have a dialogue with anyone at work.

More importantly though, how do you listen to yourself? I’m not talking just about intuition here, although that still small voice can get crowded out with all the noise of a busy life. Before you can even get access to your intuition you have to notice how you talk to yourself.

So this week’s mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be mindful of the self talk that goes on for you.

How often do you congratulate yourself on aj ob well done? You might wait a while for anyone else to do that so why not give it to yourself and really listen, as if it were external feedback. You know when you’ve done good, so why not tell yourself?

How often do you hector yourself about mistakes, false steps and “bad” decisions?

Your inner critic serves a purpose but can be over-zealous and most self criticism is destructive. Notice when you do this and soften the tone a little.

Chances are you were doing the very best you could in the situation so give yourself a break and look for even better ways. You’ll generally always be harder on yourself than anyone else would be - where's the sense in that?

You’ll find that if you begin to talk to yourself in kinder ways you'll get better results and then you really can listen out for the good stuff –great ideas that pop out of nowhere, your creativity will get a boost and you'll actually enjoy the conversations you have with yourself.

So go on –just listen to yourself this week and get yourself on track for more of the good stuff!