THE madness is at an end for another year. And as the dust settles on the Christmas/New Year shopping blitz, the Diary wonders how those in the frontline have coped.

It can't be easy to be a shop assistant in December. And this fact is confirmed by one York man's brief experience on the tills.

Bill Graham took a seasonal job in a local toyshop. It was, he says, an eye-opening experience.

"Monday came and I was kitted out in a ludicrously unsuitable blue uniform (I know this because my grandson, aged four, told me to take it off - "You look ridiculous, Grandad"), and sent to learn how to operate the check-out machinery," Bill writes.

"A week later I was deemed grossly incompetent and put in charge of the Action Man aisle - a bit of a come-down for a man who formerly boasted two degrees and an advanced diploma, but I coped."

After a while, tedium set in. "One aches to liven things up, and I had a brainwave. I decided to dress up one of my Action Men in Barbie's underwear from the neighbouring aisle.

"Put in a conspicuous place he attracted no end of interest. Within all of 15 minutes I was called to the manager's office and asked, rather rudely I felt, what I thought I was doing causing an unseemly incident and bringing the company into disrepute.

"My reply that 'I was merely trying to put Action Man in touch with his feminine side' was not well received.

"To her enormous credit the manager didn't giggle once. I was handed my P45 and told that I would never get a reference from the firm and to adopt a more mature attitude in future (I am 67).

"As I left the office I suspect I heard loud guffaws from behind the door and, as I doffed my uniform jacket for the last time, I got a round of applause from my fellow part-timers.

"It was the season of goodwill after all."

ARE you a top scorer? Here are the answers for Friday's quiz: 1 c); 2 a); 3 c); 4 c); 5 b)

HOW did they know? It was back in balmy May when Yorkshire Museum bosses opened the Ice Age exhibition, and a few short months later we were shivering in some of the lowest temperatures for years.

Now that's what we call forward planning...

Updated: 10:03 Monday, January 02, 2006