WHICH rocking York venue has left it late to ask for a new drinks licence?

The Mansion House.

The Lord Mayor's pad applied on November 22 - just two days before the new law came in which allows us to drink to infinity and beyond.

City of York Council is asking itself permission to sell alcohol at the 18th century property between 11am and 11pm every day. It is also seeking consent for "regulated entertainment consisting of live and recorded music and performance of dance".

But before you plan to boogie your weekend away at the Mansion House, there is a disappointing footnote: "Not open to public, private events only."

So the council is not turning this particular one of its properties into a nightclub (or "doing a Barbican" as it's known).

But it sounds like Lord Mayor Coun Janet Greenwood's going to have a great time. A toast: "To her worfipshulnesh!"

THOSE who attended the psychedelic enthronement of Dr John Sentamu are still enjoying vivid flashbacks.

But where were the doves? The birds of peace were supposed to have been released into the ether as part of the ceremony.

Organisers had sourced some in Wigan, but on the day their owner decided it was far too cold for the sensitive things and kept them wrapped up in their dovecote. Extra balloons were released instead.

Meanwhile, before his interview with Dr Sentamu one journalist told him he was a churchgoer, but asked him to keep the fact quiet. "Why?" inquired the primate. "Because it's not cool," said the hack.

To which Dr John replied: "Aren't I cool?"

An archbishop who plays bongos in the Minster? Yup, that's pretty cool.

WE humbly beseech Her Majesty's pardon.

As many readers have pointed out, the Queen's birthday (or one of them, at any rate) is on April 21, and not April 19 as we stated.

"When I was a young lad, I and others with the same birthday as the Queen were invited to apply to the Daily Express and we received a football sent through the post," Alex Lawrence of Pocklington writes. "I do not remember the year, but I do remember the thrill of getting the ball."

How could we get it wrong?

Well it wasn't entirely our fault.

The report was based on a press release which began: "If you were born on Wednesday April 19, 1926 - the same day as the Queen - then you could be in line for a birthday bash with a difference."

It had been sent from the office of the Lord Lieutenant - the Queen's representative in North Yorkshire.

TWO readers have sent me the same joke, so it must be worth repeating.

A man has six children and is so proud that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night at a party, the man decides that it's time to go home and shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

Updated: 10:26 Friday, December 02, 2005