AFTER yesterday's salutations to Mrs Thatcher, today we offer birthday greetings to another cause of division and fury.

The Stonebow is 50 years old today. And just like Mrs T, the street which links Pavement to Peasholme Green is not for turning. Although it does curve a little.

When the Lord Mayor of York, Alderman Fred Brown, opened The Stonebow on October 14, 1955, it was stated that the road would form "a direct outlet to and from Heworth, greatly speeding the flow of traffic and helping to eliminate bottlenecks and congestion".

These days a certain axle-grinding bollard - curse of ambulances and buses alike - ensures it does the opposite.

The Stonebow has never been York's most popular street, particularly after Stonebow House was added in 1964. This is a shame, and so the Diary has penned a little doggerel in defence of York's newest 50-year-old.

Sorry.

All hail to the startling Stonebow

Fair thoroughfare of modern York.

Home to, inter alia,

Drugs paraphernalia,

Pavement pizza and a bus stop that talks.

Salute our spectacular Stonebow:

Some sneer you are clearly a dive.

But where else can you find

In Jorvik Caf entwined

Liver and onions for £4.25?

Sing the praises of ear-splitting Stonebow

Engrossed host to the harmonious.

Where lyrical ad libbers

Scream and sweat down in Fibbers

Till dawn heralds sweet tinnitus.

Rush along to the Supersave Stonebow

But remember your car to discard.

Otherwise sprightly progress

To Furniture Express

Will be hit by an uppity bollard.

IF a bird with bird flu flew in, would we all fall foul of fowl flu - or flee?

Let's not take any chances. Cull the Canada geese now.

WE asked for your supermarket shopping pet hates. Former York councillor Liz Edge has three:

"Having to find a £1 coin for the dubious pleasure of purchasing food and then having to struggle back to the trolley park, together with shopping, to recoup coin.

"The wholescale, selfish abuse of disabled and parent/child parking facilities.

"The overstocking of items which leads to a situation where there is room for everything - apart from the customers."

More if you've got 'em.

Updated: 09:54 Friday, October 14, 2005