HAPPY birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Dick...

Yes, tomorrow is the 300th birthday of John Palmer, otherwise known as Richard Turpin, otherwise know as highwayman Dick.

He was born in Essex on what most histories agree was September 21, 1705. Exactly where we cannot be sure.

The Spaniards Inn on Hampstead Heath claims to be his birthplace, but York historian James Sharpe points out that this was not a pub until after Turpin's death. The Bell Inn in Hempstead also lays claim to be the spot where he entered the world.

We can, however, be certain where he ended up: underneath a slab of stone in St George's Church graveyard off Walmgate, after being executed on the York Tyburn on April 7, 1739.

While the city is busy preparing all manner of pyrotechnic spectaculars to mark 400 years since the despatch of another York rum 'un, Guy Fawkes, little is planned to commemorate Turpin's anniversary.

You can go and see his condemned cell in the Castle Museum, as usual. And a small commemorative display is in the concourse. But nothing extra is in the museum's pipeline for tomorrow. York Tourism Bureau also reports a distinct lack of Turpinesque events.

Organisers of the city's Ghost Festival are looking to give it a Turpin theme, but not until next year (the 2005 festival, which runs next month, is a guide to Guido).

So we turned to John Reid, landlord of the Dick Turpin. He staged a party to celebrate the Moorcroft Road pub's 40th birthday in the summer.

Now, having been informed by the Diary of the forthcoming Turpin tricentenary, he is busy planning another bash. And this will be a triple celebration.

By spooky coincidence, September 21 is also the birthday of his wife, Sandra, and pub regular Vince Brown.

Details were unconfirmed as we went to press, but John is talking of putting on a disco and buffet.

We hope the ghost of Turpin himself floats by for a sausage roll and a bop till the last drop.

LAST year the Diary reported on the bizarre correspondence readers were receiving from the Department of Work and Pensions.

It seems the DWP still hasn't got its act together. But a despatch to the Diary from The Groves' lady of letters, Margaret Lawson, reveals she takes the continued bureaucratic bungling in good part.

"Before watching City Hospital (BBC1, 10am), for which I wear my nurse's uniform - it looks like fancy dress these days, with cap, frilly cuffs and swishy cape - and before switching off till Bargain Hunt (I'm very selective) the postman arrived.

"He brought my usual pension assessment - still in Welsh.

"I've never bothered complaining as I think it's good to discover a few words in a different language."

IN June the Diary revealed how the beautiful village of Coxwold was hosting the world premiere of A Cock And Bull Story, a film about its most famous resident, novelist Laurence Sterne. It stars Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon, Dylan Moran, Stephen Fry and Gillian Anderson.

Patrick Wildgust, curator of Shandy Hall, Sterne's former home, has been in touch to reveal that the good folk of London are at last able to see the film. It will be screened as part of the London Film Festival on October 21.

But our southern friends are missing out. Unlike the Coxwold filmshow, there will be no "guess the weight of the bull" competition in the West End.

Updated: 08:36 Tuesday, September 20, 2005