Dick Turpin rides again

WANTED: Good home for souvenirs from the world's most infamous jail. One careful owner. Display cabinet included. Free to right person. Turpin does not usually devote space to advertisements, but could not resist this one.

The jail in question is Alcatraz, the American fortress built on an island in San Francisco Bay. And Herbert Stratton is the one careful owner.

Mr Stratton has long held an interest in the penal system. It could be said he knows British jails inside out.

His interest in US justice began when he tried to buy the gas chamber from the San Quentin jail in California, 25 years ago.

Why did he want to drag this grisly relic back to Britain? "Lust for money," he answers, with refreshing honesty.

Burghers from Bognor Regis expressed an interest in taking the gas chamber as a unique tourist trap.

Alas, it was not to be. California's political winds changed, the death penalty was reinstated and Bognor was deprived of a tourist attraction.

Bert's thoughts then turned to Alcatraz. He struck up a friendship with a reporter from the San Francisco Examiner who, very sportingly, stole a couple of souvenirs from the crumbling fort and sent them to him.

One was a metal plate giving instructions on how to operate all the locks. The other was a notice attached to the prison drugs safe.

They take pride of place in a cabinet, which was once on display in the salubrious surroundings of Mr Stratton's petrol station at Barkston Ash, near Tadcaster. As well as the Alcatraz relics, the cabinet contains pictures of its most famous resident, mobster Al Capone.

Mr Stratton is reluctant to part with his memorabilia. But he is now 74, and he wants to get his affairs in order. "I wouldn't rest in my grave if I hadn't found a home for them," he said. Anyone who would like to take these mementoes off Herbert Stratton's hands should right to him c/o Dick Turpin, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN.

Bert has never been short of ideas. At one stage he even suggested digging up Yours Truly and moving my grave to the Eye Of York. He was selling sweets and drinks (illegally) to visitors near Clifford's Tower in the summer of 1966. By moving Dick Turpin's remains from St George's Churchyard to the castle he thought he would drum up more trade. Spoilsports at the Home Office scotched his plan.

Mr Stratton has occasionally found himself on the wrong side of the law. He came up with various ruses to fill days spent at Her Majesty's Pleasure. During one spell inside, he tried to fight the parliamentary seat vacated by Profumo. His attempt made the front page of the Mirror.

Another time he discovered he had the right to change religion whilst incarcerated. He opted to become a Mormon.

His political ambitions didn't end with the Profumo affair. In the 1974 General Election he stood as the one-man Protest Party for the York seat. "A hundred and seventy idiots voted for me," he charitably recalled.

Four years later he vowed to slap the face of Prime Minister James Callaghan as a protest about unemployment.

He got as far as the Imperial Hotel, Blackpool, where Mr Callaghan was staying for the party conference. As Bert unwound with a few drinks in the hotel bar, he blabbed his plan to a man he thought was a journalist. The man was Special Branch officer. He arrested Bert.

Bert is now planning another protest - this time over the cost of a TV licence for pensioners.

THE crew of the warship HMS York are ready to deal with anything: enemy aircraft, depth charges, chickens...

Chickens? Apparently so. The destroyer recently visited the small island of Tenega Shima, off the Japanese coast.

The islanders were last visited by a British ship in 1894 when the Drumeltan ran aground there.

In return for the islanders' help in repairing their vessel, the crew gave them some chickens, the first they had ever seen.

So when HMS York called by the first thing the islanders did was show crewmen the great great grandchicks of those famous hens. Rumours that a thriving KFC now exists on Tenega Shima have been denied.

TURPIN has spies everywhere - including Pontefract races, where former Scottish goalkeeper and ladies' man Andy Goram has apparently enjoyed a lucky week.

There, the Sheffield United keeper and tabloid target sent his female companion to place a bet for him. Unfortunately, the bookie concerned misheard the woman's instructions due to her thick Glaswegian accent.

The nag Andy wanted to back romped home first, and would have won him £200. So his companion was livid to discover that the bet had been mistakenly placed on another horse at an entirely different racecourse.

Her fury soon faded when it was revealed that this horse had also won - netting the goalie £3,000. Was she going to give Andy the money to look after, the bookie inquired? "No fear," came the reply. "He'd only drop it."

York shoppers were far from impressed by DIY giant B&Q's latest floor display at its Foss Islands store. It was a series of buckets carefully placed to catch drips from the leaky ceiling. The staff are clearly not as keen on doing it themselves as their customers.

31/10/98

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.