Vows are going down a wow just now

WHAT are we to make of marriage in the Millennium? (Wags tempted to quip that their marriage has lasted a Millennium can kindly leave the room.)

I have a nagging memory that getting wed used to be taken quite seriously. Folk would court for years before meeting at the altar. They not only repeated the wedding vows, but believed in them too.

It was almost as if marriage was seen as some sort of public declaration of commitment. Now, of course, marriage wings in and out of fashion like corduroy. Only it's not as hard-wearing.

This year, marriage is most definitely in. A gold band was already the accessory of 1999. And then, to add icing to the wedding cake, Prince Edward decided to make an honest woman of Sophie - quite an ambition, considering she's in PR.

So if you have no plans to marry this year - make some. If you are already hitched, ditch him. Anybody who's anybody is tearing down the aisle.

Wedding businesses cannot believe their good fortune. Not so long ago the institution of marriage was said to be in a critical condition. It was running a fever and not expected to make it through the night.

Now it has bounced off its death bed and is kicking the doom merchants in the trousers. The staff at Brides of York report brisk trade. Vicars already have weddings scheduled for almost every Saturday of the year. Venues for civilian weddings report a similar demand.

Everyone appears delighted by this sudden outbreak of romance. No one is questioning the motives of couples who want to marry mainly because of the date, or because it has become a royal wedding year.

Holy matrimony has become wholly nugatory. There can be no greater illustration of this than Birmingham radio station BRMB's "blind wedding" competition.

Called Two Strangers And A Wedding, it is designed to climax with a couple marrying only moments after meeting. Their prize is a free Bahamas honeymoon, and year-long use of a swish house and car.

It is a direct imitation of an Australian contest. The winners pocketed £25,000 and split up two months later. Not surprisingly, BRMB's publicity stunt has been condemned by the Church.

In general, however, public outrage has been noticeable by its absence. That is an indication of how far marriage has been downgraded.

Now that people tie the knot so loosely, those groups that have to pick up the frayed ends are under increasing pressure. The York Family Mediation Service revealed that there had been a rush for its services because many families struggle to survive the strain of Christmas. Couples who split up after a few rows over the brandy butter are not taking this marriage business seriously. It's meant to be "for better, for worse", you know.

Jane Vee, wife of York's number one impersonator Eddie, even told The Vanessa Show on Friday that she might be pushed towards divorce on the spurious grounds that her husband's lip-curling activities were embarrassing.

We must make allowances. It was most likely inspired by the artificial atmosphere of confrontation whipped up by such shows. The consequences of her being serious are too painful to consider; if every wife divorced her husband on the grounds of embarrass-ment, then where would we be?

It is about time people realised that marriage is meaningless if it is not taken seriously. Perhaps the royal wedding will put things right. We should pray that Eddie really is ready.

MANY of the splice girls visiting Brides of York revealed their desire to have Millennium babies. Appropriate names look set to be in short supply come next January. If it is a boy, may I suggest Leonard Michael? Then the proud parents can introduce the bairn as "My Lenny M."

11/01/99

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.