I HAVE looked at this Mandy affair from all sides now, with glasses on and glasses off, one eye shut and one eye open, both eyes shut. But whatever the ocular arrangement, nothing looks right.

Dizzying amounts of words have been written about the resignation/sacking of Peter Mandelson. Yet for all this welter of information, the scandal doesn't quite makes sense. The more you read, the more you watch, the muddier this affair becomes.

So here's the serious bit (apparently).

Mr Mandelson fell from political grace because he is said to have lied to a Sunday newspaper about his involvement in helping wealthy Asian businessman SP Hinduja obtain a British passport. Mr Mandelson, until last week the Northern Ireland Secretary, said he did not recollect making a telephone call to Mike O'Brien, the Home Office Minister, about Mr Hinduja's application.

As the billionaire Indian businessman and his brother, GP Hinduja, had previously donated £1 million to the Millennium Dome, this was interpreted by some newspapers as a 'cash for passports' row.

Now as scandals go, this is not much cop. No sex for a start. It's not even as if Mandelson took the million quid in used tenners, winked and said he'd see what he could do. No, he accepted money on his Government's behalf for the Dome. Then later on, he couldn't remember what he said to whom or when about SP Hinduja's passport application.

The gap between the small scandal and the big fuss is so yawning that there is an odd sense of unreality about this affair. It's hard not to find yourself saying: "Is that all?"

This is not to speak up for Mr Mandelson, just to wonder at the harsh treatment he received. For between his crime and his punishment, there lies the really interesting stuff. Mandy's exit says as much about New Labour as it does about him.

There are those among us whose hearts lifted an inch or two when New Labour came to power. How long ago it all seems now. And how dull they've been. Strangely, for such a boring Government, this administration harbours more back-biting than the average piranha tank. What a vicious lot they are, behind the platitudes and attitudes.

Peter Mandelson long ruled the piranha tank, but he made enemies, including, apparently, the Prime Minister's Press Secretary, Alastair Campbell.

As there seems to be a gap between what Mandy did and what was done to him, attention turns to why this is happening. And as the political soap has unfolded, with more episodes a week than the Archers, it looks more and more as if Peter Mandelson was eased out not so much because of what he did, but because certain elements in the Labour Party wanted rid of him.

For a party said to be so good at spinning, New Labour has done a hopeless job of controlling this affair. But it's not true that this is a spinning, news-managing Government - rather, New Labour spun to brilliant effect in Opposition, but has struggled to pull off the same trick when in power.

There are other lessons here. Extreme wealth and politics is an explosive mix: the billionaire Hinduja brothers seem to be connected to everyone, from Tony Blair to William Hague, the troubled Keith Vaz to Sir Edward Heath. And to the lot of them I'd say: beware billionaires bearing gifts.

And here's another thing. Didn't Margaret Thatcher rush through a British passport for the South African runner Zola Budd?

Is there a difference between that case and this one - other than the fact that Mrs Thatcher kept her job?

But as the lady herself said when she was eventually deposed: "It's a funny old world."

A sentiment Peter Mandelson would no doubt share.