THE remembrance of loved ones is so important to many people. By remembering those who are no longer with us, we can treasure what has been lost. A memorial stone is one obvious, solid way of marking a life.

So imagine how horrified Ron Paterson must have been when he visited Malton Cemetery to discover that the memorial stone to his wife Joan had been moved without his knowledge.

The stone had stood above the spot where Joan Paterson's ashes were buried for five years. But when Mr Paterson turned up to pay his respects to his wife, instead of a gravestone he found a hole in the ground.

It is understandable that Mr Paterson was upset at this discovery, and equally easy to see why his first thought was that vandals must have been responsible for this desecration. But no, on this occasion officialdom and not vandalism was apparently to blame.

The memorial stone, and some 50 others like it, had been placed on a wall some distance away from where Mrs Paterson's ashes were buried.

Mr Paterson claims that Malton Town Council, which oversees the cemetery, has caused him and others a great deal of unnecessary heartache. It is hard not to agree. There can be few occasions on which officialdom should show finer sensibilities than in respecting the memory of the dead and the wishes of those who are still alive.

The explanation from the town council is a classic in unfeeling bureaucracy. The memorial stones were moved because they shouldn't have been there in the first place, as the town council decided in 1992 that "no memorial stone for cremations should disturb the grass".

Never mind the grass - what about disturbing a grieving widower such as Mr Paterson? It seems that a little common sense and common humanity is called for here. Relatives such as Mr Paterson should have been consulted and their wishes should have been taken into account.

Updated: 10:41 Wednesday, July 25, 2001