MOTHERS all over York will be sighing with relief at news that the city's one-man love machine, lusty hairdresser Lawton Henry, has tied the knot.

Yes, they can let their daughters out again because fellow crimper Lisa Barrett has made an honest man of the chunky Walmgate stylist, who boasted on a Channel 5 documentary that he had slept with more than 200 women - most of whom were one night stands.

The happy couple tied the knot in a civil ceremony at Merchant Adventurers' Hall, Fossgate, York, on June 24, then spent a honeymoon in Marbella, Spain, where no doubt they got up to plenty of "bish bash bosh" as Lawton, on national television, so poetically described the act of coupling.

My spies tell me Lawton and Lisa were old friends who got together after he had filmed the aforementioned documentary for Channel 5.

Lisa, who works at Breeze salon, George Hudson Street, York, shrugged off her beau's notoriety by saying: "I knew what he was like anyway."

For Lawton, who lost his virginity at the tender age of 13 on Bonfire Night and boasted on TV that "he always wore a condom, usually", the marriage marks the end of his career as a local super-stud. He always said he would stop his sexual shenanigans when he found the perfect girl...

SOME scallywag signing herself Ms Ellen Highwater (think about it) from City of York Council wrote this letter to me on council headed notepaper about renaming York streets.

Phase One of our plan to rename York locations after celebrities who have connections with the city - such as in Dame Judi Dench Walk, etc - has now been successfully completed. I am now writing to ask residents for their comments on the five changes we propose to make in Phase Two, later this year.

They are:

Jewbury Cloisters to be renamed John Barry Cloisters, to commem-orate the work of the award-winning York-born composer.

Green Dykes Lane to be renamed Greg Dyke's Lane in appreciation of his generous donations to, and attendance at, the nearby University of York.

Beresford Terrace to be renamed Berwick Kaler Terrace, in gratit-ude for the joy the pantomime artist has brought to a generation of York audiences. Mr Kaler once stayed in theatrical digs near here.

Firtree Close to be renamed Fergie Close, after this much-admired ex-Duchess of York. Her helicopter once flew over this part of Holgate.

Seventh Avenue to be renamed Shed Seventh Avenue, after the popular York musical group. They occasionally visited the Tang Hall area.

What do your readers think?

Ellen Highwater (Ms),

Highways Nominations Officer

I can think of one street name change immediately. Let's call High Ousegate Highwatergate because if Ellen's council bosses ever hear of her spoof letter to me she's in deep trouble.

My lips are sealed, wild horses couldn't drag it out of me but half a pint might.

FORMER Coronation Street star Geoffrey Hughes - the lovable loafer, scrounger and binman Eddie Yates, below - was an unlikely figure at a meeting between Countryside Minister Elliott Morley and farming leaders in Heartbeat country recently.

Whitehall's top brass had descended on the Inn On The Moors, at Goathland, for the private launch of a video about foot and mouth precautions.

While the minister hob-nobbed with farming leaders, Geoff Hughes and other Heartbeat actors - who were between takes - sat quietly in the hotel lobby sipping coffee and chatting to waiting reporters.

But as the minister emerged and walked briskly past, Geoff - who is perhaps best remembered for playing the slobbish Onslow in Keeping Up Appearances - shouted to the pursuing press pack: "Have you grilled him? Has he given you a sound-bite yet?

Keeping his composure, the minister didn't flinch.

Hyacinth Bucket (sorry, Bouquet) would have been foaming at the foot and mouth with embarrassment.

SIGNS are constant source of amusement. If at least one of these does not make you titter I'll bungee jump off a wall brick...

In a laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.

In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

Another office: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

On a motorway garage: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.

Outside a new town hall about to be opened by the Prince of Wales: The Town Hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

Outside a photographer's studio: Out to lunch. If not back by five, out to dinner also.

Seen at the side of a Sussex road: Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for the next 100 yrs.

Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.

Spotted in a safari park: Elephants. Please stay in your car.