SPEED humps have never been popular. That's because motorists, to reach for a truism, are arrogant Mr Toads who rage against anything that stands between them and their right to tear around the place wrecking environments and making mincemeat of whoever gets in their way. Ours is a small island, packed from nose to tail with grumpy drivers.

Many of them insist on writing to the Evening Press. Only yesterday, correspondent RJ McBroom grumbled about council plans to place "traffic obstacles" in Manor Drive North. This will, he says, lead to more noise, fumes and, horror of horror, increase the wear and tear on vehicles.

RJ's right about the fumes: humps considerably increase exhaust emissions, according to this week's Transport Research Laboratory report. But the same research recognises that humps cut road injuries, and suggests it is "very unlikely" that traffic calming measures alone would result in poor air quality.

Meanwhile, Cockermouth's own Dr K Davis complains of plans to turn Clifton Dale in York into a traffic-calmed Home Zone. According to Dr K, the council's "flimsiest of pretexts" for this scheme is to reduce the number of children killed or injured on the road. There is no "statistical information" to back this up.

RJ, in similar vein, suggests that "there is a misguided view that these obstacles make streets safer which is not the case. If they did, surely the council would place them in every street."

Two points. First, the council is keen to traffic-calm every residential street it can. And secondly, the statistics prove both Dr K and RJ wrong.

York met the Government's target of a one-third reduction in road casualties by 2000 seven years ahead of schedule. And as Ken Spence's letter on this page, below, points out, road casualties in York are down by 40 per cent in ten years.

In other words, hundreds of people who would have been run over and killed or injured without traffic calming have not been. What a fantastic advert for the council's road safety policy.

Anyone who has walked through suburban York is aware of the tremendous difference traffic calming makes.

Instead of fearing for your life while crossing a road, speed humps allow you to stroll across safe in the knowledge that you have enough time to avoid all but the most maniacal motorist.

Both our correspondents believe that a better way to reduce road accidents is education. What about teaching kids the Green Cross Code, asks Dr K? To which any pedestrian might respond: what about teaching drivers the Highway Code? If drivers did not race around our residential streets, the council would not need speed humps.

SIMON Howard and his wife Rebecca are expecting a child, and so are faced with the naming nightmare. At least they have narrowed it down. If the baby is a boy, he will be Merlin, Cosmo or Jasper, or perhaps all three. A girl will be known as Tallulah or Octavia.

The couple are fortunate in that they have a sensible surname. Us Titleys are not so lucky. My family must always be vigilant not to give our children a first name that will in any way add to the chagrin of their surname. So alliteration and rhymes are definitely ruled out: Tallulah Titley is a no-no; and you can forget Whitney Britney Titley.

Two other rules of naming. One: know your place. Little Jasper Cosmo will have no problems amid the rarefied social circles occupied by the Howards, but he would find he was joshed at an inner city comprehensive. Equally, Darren Wayne Howard does not sound like the heir to Brideshead.

Secondly, don't prevaricate. Call your child Baby for a week or two after the birth until a final decision is made but novelty wears off by the time he is a barrister or a Cabinet member.