RACIST jokes, you don't hear one for ages and suddenly they are everywhere. First Leeds United holds its annual awards dinner and enterprisingly books a comedian known for his offensiveness. Then the Tory MP Ann Winterton woos her local rugby club dinner with a humorous ditty about throwing Pakistanis out of a train window.

The Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith made Mrs Winterton an offer she couldn't refuse: resign now or face a public sacking. Mrs Winterton stood her ground, believing an apology would suffice.

It didn't and Mrs Winterton suffered the enormous ignominy of being removed from her job as Shadow rural affairs spokesman. This must have been nearly as shocking as that dark day lost in history when she was demoted from her position as milk monitor at primary school.

So now the Tory MP is facing the Winterton of her discontent (well, this week's column is dedicated to unforgivable jokes).

Stan Boardman, the comedian booked by Leeds United, reeled off a tremendously witty number about Lee Bowyer and Jonathan Woodgate, the Leeds players who stood trial for a serious assault on an Asian student.

He is reported to have quipped: "I hear they went to a club last night. When they came out one said to the other, 'I could murder an Indian'."

Mr Boardman is a man whose perm has somehow survived more or less intact since the Seventies, along with his notions of what constitutes an acceptable joke. He is unlikely to be booked again by Leeds United - or by anyone else, if sense prevails.

I can imagine red faces at the Leeds booking committee, who will have been left wondering why they didn't hire that nice Mr Manning again, like they did four years ago.

Reports that Mrs Winterton is retiring from politics to form a comedy double act with her notorious right-wing husband Nick Winterton MP can thankfully be discounted, largely because I just invented that bit.

The dogged survival of the racist joke is one of the less attractive aspects of British life. I can honestly say I have never told a racist joke, or listened to one in anything other than silence. I can't imagine ever laughing at a racist joke, but humour can surprise you sometimes, tricking you into accepting the unacceptable. But I'd hate myself in the morning if I did.

What's important is not that it may be feasible to laugh without meaning to - it is to remember that racist jokes should have no place in our national life, because such cruel jibes always depend on there being a butt or victim who is different from us.

To stand against racist jokes is to risk being labelled a devotee of political correctness. To which I can only offer that short, one-size-fits-all rejoinder beloved of my children: so?

Those who attack political correctness would much rather be free to say any old hurtful and rancid thing, just as they always used to. I'd be happy to wager that Ann and Nick Winterton have indulged in much dark mumbling about "bloody PC non-sense" in the past few days.

Well, hard luck. I'd say that for a Conservative MP to tell a racist joke in public is a case of bringing fate crashing down on your own head.

And I suppose that fate, or Iain Duncan Smith as he is known in this case, emerges with some credit from this debacle. The Tory leader still doesn't wear the blazer of charisma, but at least he has shown he won't let his MPs indulge in offensive jokes.

The only caution is this: if Duncan Smith were to eject all those Tory MPs who keep racist jokes or nasty thoughts gathering dust in their jacket pockets, he may find Westminster a lonelier place.

Updated: 12:18 Thursday, May 09, 2002