Making a scenic

You can almost hear Clare Coxon blushing on the other end of the telephone. "It's not a marketing campaign," she protests unconvincingly, her tone a delicate rose pink. "It's just something that goes on our letter paper."

A strapline, in other words? Yes, she confirms. And what does it say? Her voice turns an even deeper shade of crimson. "The Lake District - England's Finest Landscape."

Harr-umph! Brrr! And just what is that supposed to mean? It all happened by accident, really, insists the spokeswoman for the Lake District National Park Authority. It wasn't meant to upset anyone.

But somebody from a national newspaper picked up on the new Lake District strapline on a press release, decided to make a bit of mischief - and it all blew up from there. "We hope now that actually all the national parks will get a chance to show off what fun they are," she says in a meek voice.

Actually, she's such a pleasant-sounding young woman it's hard to keep up the pretence of feeling offended for long - no matter how much I might personally believe there's no landscape on God's earth to match the Yorkshire Dales. I relent. So what is it, I ask, that makes the Lake District so special?

Suddenly she's all eager to please.

"Oh no, hang on, just bear with me because I have this written down." A shuffling of papers can be heard down the telephone line, then her voice again, a hint of the pink returning. "I should know this off pat. We have a particular wording."

There follows a rush of tourist clichs loosely strung together, in which can I make out the words landscape, natural features, conservation monuments. Then: "The scenic beauty comes from a wide range of wildlife, geological, archaeological and historic features recognisable as being of international importance," she finishes, with a hint of triumph.

And one thing you do have in abundance, I say mischievously, thinking of Windermere, is tourists. Perhaps too many of them?

"I don't think that's necessarily true", she says, sounding a little crestfallen. "There are areas that are for quiet enjoyment where you can walk for miles and miles and not see a soul!"

Chris Collier, chief executive of the Cumbria Tourist Board, is more robust in her defence of the Lakes as England's finest landscape - though no less scatty.

"In 1998 a German scientist called Rainer Bramer did some analysing. He analysed what it is that makes people feel safe and comfortable. He decided scientifically that all the factors of a landscape that go to make up the ideal conditions that make people feel secure, safe and comfortable you have in the Lake District. So scientifically, it has been proven!"

And those factors are? "Water, which is the source of life, with trees and their reflections in that water. Trees giving shelter, and the meandering edge to the water with the beauty and serenity of the landscape around it, the hills and so on."

No wonder the Romantic Poets found the Lakes so irresistible, if no less a person than Rainer Bramer has endorsed them. What could Yorkshire have that could possibly match all that?

Well, quite a lot - according to Andrew Osborne, of the Yorkshire Dales National Park. "The Dales are special because of their uniqueness."

Umm, ye-es. And what makes them unique? "It's a landscape which has evolved over many millions of years. The Dale bottoms are green and lush, rising to the moorland and fell tops, which can be both tranquil and peaceful and at other times rather foreboding."

I decide he needs a helping hand. What really makes the Dales so heartbreakingly beautiful, I suggest - especially in the spring or October sunshine - are the contrasts; the white outcrops of sun-bright limestone dusted across the lush green grass; and the dry stone walls and ancient barns that seem to have grown there like native plants rather than to have been laboriously constructed by the hand of man.

Yes, he agrees eagerly.

"The walls date back, arguably some of them, thousands of years." That's another of the really special things about the Dales, he adds: the cultural heritage. It's an area that has been lived, worked and farmed for hundreds if not thousands of years.

"The towns and villages of the area are very much living towns and villages. That Yorkshire culture has evolved through the years and makes it very special."

Somehow, I thought Yorkshire culture would get a mention there somewhere. So what about the North York Moors, the second of Yorkshire's great national parks? How does it compare?

North York Moors National Park Authority's chief executive Andy Wilson is a little grumpy at first. It's all a rather silly argument, he says. "It's not about who has the highest mountain. Actually, on the world stage, the English national parks are not particularly biodiverse at all, and they have not got the highest mountains. It's really a bit pathetic in a sense."

Then, suddenly, he hits his stride, and does the most spectacular job possible of selling the Moors.

"We have an unsurpassed cultural history," he says. "There are the ancient abbeys, Rievaulx, Byland and Mount Grace - which is a priory, actually. There is this spectacular range of ecclesiastical architecture. My father used to say Mount Grace was the most beautiful place in the world. And actually it was the synod of Whitby which set the date of Easter - or was it Christmas? - for the entire world, in 800 or something. Which is an amazing thought. People came from around the world to Whitby and we still live by that decision.

"There's a unique industrial archaeology on the moors, in terms of the alum industry and ironstone, and particularly rich prehistoric archaeology, for example rock art and barrows - and, of course, it has the crosses, though they are not that old. I don't think anyone really knows what they were for.

"There is the largest area of heather moorland in England, so it goes purple in August, and we've also got a lot of ancient woodland. The coastline is particularly beautiful, places such as Staithes and Robin Hood's Bay - a spectacular coastline with unique coastal villages. And of course it's got a phenomenal cultural history.

"I would say that after the Galapagos islands, the North York Moors is the most important place in the world for the development of our understanding of evolution. It's where all the nineteenth century fossils, the ichthyosaurs and so on, were found. Our understanding of geography and strata and fossils, that came about because of the dinosaur coast. So we have a really unique scientific heritage."

Phew! Look on his words and despair, you Lake District afficionados. That's going to take some beating.

Actually, of course - as everybody I spoke to in truth wholeheartedly agreed - all three of the national parks are wonderful places to go to get away from it all, and each has its own beauty. They are, all of them, places to gladden the soul.

I know where I'll be going this weekend, though. After a pitch like that there's no competition. Mount Grace priory here I come....

For a brochure about holidays in the Lake District, call the Cumbria Tourist Board's brochure line on 08705 133059. For information about the Yorkshire Dales or the North York Moors, call the Yorkshire Tourist Board brochure and information line on 01904 707070.

Updated: 08:44 Saturday, October 19, 2002