OUR appreciation of wine is like our love of art, it seems. We know little about either, but we know what we like.

Oz Clarke's attempts to educate us about everything from the loam levels of a vineyard's soil to the plummy notes of a ros's bouquet have failed.

We check the price, see if the label looks nice and bung the bottle in the trolley.

Not for us the hallowed rituals of laying down the wine in a cellar. The dust does not have time to settle before the British drinker has grabbed a corkscrew. The perfect attitude for a merry Christmas, in fact.

Bottoms up!

Updated: 10:57 Thursday, December 12, 2002