TWO very different types of media relations are practiced by the "new" Labour Government. Sometimes, when a warring Minister is trying to better an enemy, it is an art so complicated it ties hacks - and even the spinners themselves - in knots.

Take, for example, the run up to the announcement (about six months late) of the student finance review. It was decided weeks ago that elite universities such as York would be allowed to charge top-up fees of £3,000 a year - but they must first satisfy a regulator, dubbed Oftoff, they were going to let in more kids from poor backgrounds.

However, anybody following the story from outside the Westminster village would be forgiven for thinking this caveat was only inserted at the last minute, after the intervention of the Iron Chancellor.

Why? Because Gordon Brown wants to win friends on the Labour back benches and among the party rank-and-file by appearing to be the champion of the poor. (He previously won plaudits after taking up the case of Laura Spence - a clever girl from a modest background who was denied a place at Oxford.)

The Brown camp's tactic was to leak that he had personally delayed the

publication of the document because he was unhappy about its impact on working-class youngsters. Then, a few days later, came a second leak that he had refused to sign-off the review after a bruising cabinet encounter with Education Secretary Charles Clarke, his closest rival to replace Tony Blair.

Finally, his team fed a splash to a sympathetic newspaper that Gordon had won an 11th-hour concession for an "access regulator" to be appointed to decide which universities should be allowed to charge differential fees.

Mr Clarke and his Higher Education Minister, Margaret Hodge, were spitting feathers - pointing out to anyone that would listen it had been a key part of their plans all along.

But it had been a job well done by the Chancellor's team. Lobby journalists were pleased because they had been given acres of print - and Gordon's stock had risen among the potential Labour kingmakers.

The second type of PR is practiced by those altogether more honest souls who churn out press releases for Government departments.

Their task for the week was to make students aware they are the number one target of burglars. The result was a work of such desperation I feel morally obliged to give it coverage.

Their effort read: "As the new university term gets underway next week, more than 750,000 students are being targeted with crime reduction advice, via a new Home Office website, www.good2bsecure.co.uk.

"The site contains practical, low-cost guidance on how to avoid being a victim of crime. An e-mail campaign with details of the new website, and featuring an interactive game, 'Danny Timpson's Kebabathon' will be sent to thousands of students next week.

"As student Danny weaves his way home from the pub and loses his keys, players must help him past obstacles such as the neighbours' dog and shin up drainpipes, to get him indoors safely - all without losing his precious kebab.

"However, behind the game lies a serious crime prevention message - if you, or Danny, can get into a house without keys, so can a burglar." A quick run through the game reveals they have even gone so far as to include "ironic" student humour.

For example, if you successfully throw a doner kebab into the angry dog's mouth, shutting it up, a caption exclaims: "Where did Danny learn to toss like that?" Much less cunning than the work of Number 11 Downing Street, but who could resist?

Updated: 11:44 Friday, January 24, 2003