JOHN Prescott has always been a Hansard writer's nightmare. He speaks in long, winding sentences with all the words in the wrong order. But normally the brave band of Parliamentary recorders have his measure.

They take his garbled nonsense and, with a sprinkle of fairy dust, produce

something snappy.

This week he finally beat them, hammering their clever fingers with a relentless stream of gibberish on regional assemblies.

It was quite an event to sit through. Perhaps it was the excitement of finally unveiling plans for a vote on the creation of a mini-Parliament for Yorkshire and the Humber?

Or maybe it was the goading of his opposite number on the Tory benches, David Davis? (Mr Davis had shocked Westminster with the revelation Mr Prescott is not the man we think. "People think John's the classic Yorkshireman but he's actually from Wales. I get accused of being from Wales, but I'm the one genuinely born in York.")

But whatever the reason, he lost it completely. Mr Davis was seeking assurances on the "North Yorkshire question".

If a massive majority of people in the county vote "no" in next year's

referendum, will he still force them to join if the bigger metropolitan

cities are in favour?

It is a very fair point since North Yorkshire has the most to lose if the overall vote is "yes", namely its county council. Mr Prescott's reply went: "They want to have a referendum, but nevertheless there's a county council here, he starts reeling through some of these people who are opposed to it.

"Can I tell him I have some of those polls and by the way Mori poll, for example, in March 99, that's less than 2,000, and many people actually accept the authority of these polls when they come out with their results, the Mori poll said 62 per cent want a referendum, BBC poll in 2002 said 72 per cent want it..."

On he went: "...And indeed council network, the very council councils who are opposing this, set up a review in their own area and 70 per cent of the people said they needed a review, they want a referendum and the county council themselves, they paid for that review and 70 per cent said they wanted a referendum and so I'm a little bit more cautious when I hear the Right Honourable Member talking about it, and when you bear in mind that in all these referendums, basically, they were part of the county council network - well, I know you don't like insults but that is what happened..."

I looked down at the Hansard writers. They were trying to keep up, they really were.

But they couldn't have managed it, surely?

The next morning I checked their account. At times they had achieved the unachievable.

The first part of his tirade had been transformed into "I have some of the polls here - for example a MORI poll of March 1999 - and many people accept their authority when the results come out."

But, alas, victory was his. Towards the end of his rant, when exhaustion was setting in, Hansard reads: "As for whether the CBI is right or wrong, it is wrong. It is also divided on the issue. As anyone in any of the northern regions will confirm, its members are not completely united; but they are not all against the proposal..."

So many words, yet so little point.

Updated: 11:58 Friday, June 20, 2003