SUPER Youth. I'd like to think those words described me. After all I don't feel a day over 15. But sadly it doesn't. It's a term that is used for those aged 25 to 39, who researchers claim are "forever young".

These include people who, despite being the wrong side of 30, or even 35, are still showing a healthy (and knowledgeable) interest in fashion, music, clubbing, going to gigs and wild parties. And they actively participate in these pleasures - pleasures that I haven't been party to for years.

So what happened to me? I used to love all these things - before metrification. Now they are all alien to me. Why didn't I carry on enjoying them? After all, they do say you're as young as you feel. Why haven't I stayed 'forever young,' what's happened to me along the way?

Fashion: I've never been much of a fashion victim, preferring styles that I believe suit me rather than the trends of the day. But until I hit 30 I did make some, however pathetic, attempt to look hip and 'with it.' After that I fell into a bit of a rut, wearing the same old cardigan every day for about ten years. Having children sent me to rock bottom and I have been known to venture into town wearing a Crimplene skirt in a violent shade of orange, a shapeless brown T-shirt and - I'm ashamed to admit - grey pop socks.

Music: I don't really remember enjoying anything after Heart Of Glass by Blondie - and I was still at school then. I could not name one song in the top ten and I have never watched an episode of Pop Idol. I feel embarrassed by my lack of musical knowledge, particularly for the sake of my daughters who keep referring to the Cheeky Girls, Busted and other bands I've never heard of. It can't be an age thing - my 40-something friend listens to Radio 1 all day and loves it, yet I haven't been able to tolerate it since I was a teenager. I'd rather listen to the political bickering on Radio 4's Today programme than hear anything that passes for pop music.

Clubbing: Forget it. The last time I went to a club it was Mecca Bingo and even that was exhausting. A night club would finish me off. The last time I frequented one, 11 years ago in Hastings, I found it hot, sweaty and uncomfortable (maybe that was because I kept my coat on all evening, not daring to reveal the cardigan beneath) and it took about 3,000 attempts to get noticed at the bar to buy a drink. To think that Peter Stringfellow is 20 years older than me.

Going to gigs: In the 1970s I saw every punk band going - from the

Damned to the Sex Pistols. Today I would find The Nolans too noisy and threatening. A quintet playing in a stately home garden is now more my scene - and compared to the concerts I used to frequent, its a refreshing change when the band members don't spit into the audience.

Wild parties: Again, I did partake of my fair share - as a student in the 1980s. Not exactly wild but fairly lively and almost always involving missing the late bus and sleeping on strangers' lager-soaked floors. I still go to wild parties - only they're at Wacky Warehouse and the guest list is made up of screaming five-year-olds.

Super Youths are, apparently, determined to stay 'forever cool.' I might be distinctly uncool, but I think I'd rather accept it and grow old at a pace I can keep up with.

Updated: 10:39 Monday, September 08, 2003