YORK TV has only been on the air for a few weeks, and it has already achieved something no other broadcaster has managed for 50 years. It has shut Rolf Harris up.

Ten-year-old Jack Shepherd wrote in with this heartrending story:

"On Saturday I taped the Rolf Harris programme and it came out with no sound. Is York TV to blame? I was looking forward to getting a new channel (because I don't have Sky) and it is unwatchable.

"It interferes with our video player and now we can't tape anything.

"Do I have to learn to lip read? The programmes broadcast on York TV look all right but I can't be sure. Are any other readers having the same problems?

"It's a shame really, my dad really wanted to see that programme but probably never will."

But we could not sit idly by while a lad and his dad go Rolfless this Christmas.

Those lovely people at the BBC said they would be delighted to send a review tape of Rolf Harris At The Royal Albert Hall for the family to enjoy again and again. Jack, from Barstow Avenue, York, said his favourite Rolf routine is Jake The Peg.

Dawn Simpson, managing director of York TV, said: "We are sorry that you and your dad missed out on Rolf Harris, but are delighted to hear that the Evening Press has got a copy of the programme.

"Keep tuning in to York TV and you will find that our jokes are just as bad as Rolf's."

EDDIE Vee, York's monstrous loony, is in touch. "Modern police recruits are expected to be aware of how to deal with members of the public without causing offence," he writes. "And they must be computer literate. The new ads will probably read: Wanted - PC PCs with a PC."

FINALLY the waiting is over. Here is our first despatch from the fashion frontline with Diary style correspondent Anne McIntosh.

The Vale of York MP starts with some simple advice: do wrap up.

"I am great believer in practical dressing, especially in North Yorkshire.

"I have been to very posh venues where women in off-the-shoulder dresses expect it to be warm, then shiver as the air conditioning is turned up to keep the men comfortable in their jackets.

"If you are going to do that, for heaven's sake remember to take a shawl. There's a whole range in the shops, they're very fashionable."

Tomorrow: how to accessorise that little black dress and proclaim your political allegiance at the same time.

EVERYONE needs good neighbours. So it is in High Ousegate, York, where patrons of Burger King can pop next door to... Fat Face.

THAT brings us to former York councillor Nick Blitz, currently in Australia. But to help lift the black mood caused by his departure, he has emailed us a topical (and adult) joke.

Little Brucie was in his junior school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up; fireman, policeman, salesman.

Brucie was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men," he said.

"Sometimes they stick dollar bills into his G-string."

The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and then took Little Brucie aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Brucie. "My father plays rugby for Australia, but I was just too embarrassed to say."

Updated: 11:03 Thursday, December 11, 2003