WHILE you're downing your 15th pint of fortified wine this evening, seeing in the New Year with typical English sophistication, spare a thought for the workers.

We're not talking about the police and nurses, but the real toilers at this time of year. That's right, the astrologers.

This is their busy period. No doubt York horoscope supremo Jonathan Cainer will be up well into 2004, sorting out Saturn, peeking at Pisces and sizing up Uranus. Without them, who could predict what will happen?

So let's enjoy again the forecasts for this year as we dust off our copy of Old Moore's Almanac which looked ahead to 2003.

Old Moore's accuracy is apparent on the first page. "By March, the world should actually begin to sigh with relief," the 17th century sage forecasts. "We will experience new influences that promote feelings of hope and expansion."

How true. Except for the feelings of fear and apprehension which greeted the start of the Iraq war in, er, March.

Elsewhere, the perspicacity of Old Moore continues to astound. Prince William, he says, "is intensely aware of his royal status and the media spotlight".

Posh and Becks "both love the limelight" and Neptune's influence may push David "into seeking new kinds of publicity".

Come March 2003, "indications are that the Prime Minister's profile is high". Visionary stuff. Still with politics the seer says there may be the "announcement of a vote in the autumn" on joining the Euro currency. Or, as it turned out, there may not.

Sports fans were not forgotten. In August, "at York races, the Ebor handicap may be won by the second favourite". Correct in every respect - except that it was actually won by a 20-1 outsider, Saint Alebe.

RENAISSANCE man Eddie Vee is not only an Elvis impersonator and York's political loony but a jobbing DJ too.

This is his list of the top five most requested tracks this party season.

1. Build me up Buttercup - Partyboys/Foundations

2. It's Raining Men - The Weathergirls

3. The Grease Megamix

4. Reach - S Club 7

5. Don't You Want Me Baby - The Human League.

And the most popular records to smooch to were:

1. Chanson D'Amour - Manhattan Transfer

2. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word -Blue/Elton John

3. We've Got Tonight - Ronan Keating/Lulu

4. Lady In Red - Chris De Burgh

5. Unchained Melody - Robson & Jerome.

Who says North Yorkshire folk ain't hip?

DO the pictures on page four tonight suggest it helps to have a bald head if you want to get a New Year's Honour?

ANOTHER Dr D joke from Paul Willey.

"I caught Dr Keith Davis playing 'snap' with his pet puppy in St Sampson's Square. I remarked that his puppy must be a very clever dog.

"'Not really,' was his reply, 'he's only beaten me three times in the last five games'."

DENNIS Shaw, of East Parade, Heworth, York, suggests:

"If you are still thinking of a name for the new Diary column could I suggest Titley's Incredible Tat.

"Incredible on two counts:

"1. That this man is paid to write such rubbish.

"2. That you expect us to pay money for the 'privilege' of reading it.

"I suggest you put the column next to the crossword and leave it blank, we could then put it to good use as a scribble pad."

And a happy New Year to you too, Dennis.

Updated: 10:48 Wednesday, December 31, 2003