IT'S enough to make Lord Brocket choke on his first decent meal since emerging from the Australian rain forest.

And quite apart from the effect it will have on that particular ageing Lothario, the news is sure to put the wind up more than one mature male romantic lead.

There's apparently some suggestion that poor Pierce Brosnan may get pensioned off as 007.

It's not that Goldfinger or Oddjob has finally caught up with him. The story goes that his bosses want to trade Pierce in for a younger model.

Such rumours are clearly arrant nonsense. Pierce may be 50, but he is certainly not starting to look like the spy who loved putting his feet up.

Sean Connery, arguably his most illustrious predecessor, was three years older than Pierce the last time he introduced himself as 'Bond... James Bond', and even now, many of we ladies would be very happy to hear him murmur it to us.

And yet... and yet, there is something sweetly satisfying about hearing that for once a chap could be seen as too long in the tooth for romance on the big screen.

It makes such a change from reading how good actresses are getting frozen out of leading roles because they no longer make satisfactory eye candy.

I think it was Jessica Lange who remarked recently that she felt like she had managed to go straight from teen bride to mentally-unhinged mum.

Uma Thurman, no slouch on the beauty front, has been quoted as begging for men to 'objectify' her (ghastly term) because she only has about ten minutes of shelf life left.

Yes, the 007 imbroglio is overdue glad tidings for all of us females who cringe at the sight of, say, crumbly old Jack Nicholson being presented as a credible love interest to yet another toothsome ingenue young enough to be his granddaughter.

It is difficult not to think that, on screen, Jackie boy must be acting out some wish fulfilment dream for the menopausal male writer/producer/director of whatever film he is churning out.

Oh well. At least in his latest role Jack has been picking on someone more like his own age.

In Something's Gotta Give he is cast against the outstanding actress Diane Keaton, who looks so amazing that one still might ask oneself if she would really go for Nicholson, even granted that they could be described as contemporaries.

And best of all, in this film, Diane has a choice! She can, if she wants, saunter off into the sunset with the delectable thirty-something Keanu Reeves, who plays Jack's doctor son and his rival for Diane's affections.

Tough choice, Diane, but please try to remember the advice Lord Brocket gave to Alex Best about her love life: it's best to choose experience.

Yeah, right. Just as the public preferred a certain mature lady royal reporter over Brocket - a man Ant and Dec christened 'Mr Tickle' for his inability to leave nubile flesh ungroped.

Yes, the stock of older women is definitely on the rise, and Jennie only just missed out on being crowned Queen of the jungle.

She needn't feel too disheartened. She may never be Royalty, but Jennie could easily get herself another new job now her jungle jaunt is at an end.

All she needs to do is cultivate her considerable English sangfroid and learn to repeat: "The name's Bond. Jennie Bond."

Updated: 10:06 Wednesday, February 11, 2004