THE latest Register of Members' Interests landed with a thud earlier this week. What did we learn?

Ryedale's John Greenway won't have to travel far if he wants a workout. As honorary chairman of the Register of Exercise Professionals, he gets complimentary membership of Living Well Health Clubs.

He is also paid between £10,000 and £15,000 and President of the Institute of Insurance Brokers, along with up to £5,000 each from four organisations connected to the incentive industry.

Hugh Bayley went to Congo as a guest of the Congolese Government - but it was no freebie, rather it was part of an investigation into the Great Lakes region and genocide.

Vale of York MP Anne McIntosh gets free membership of the exclusive RAC Club at Pall Mall. And Selby's John Grogan gets 800 quid a year for articles in Eagleeye magazine, a publication for Enterprise Inns.

Like British tourists heading through customs, Scarborough and Whitby's Lawrie Quinn and Harrogate's Phil Willis had nothing to declare.

The House of Commons rugby team got a trip to New York and Los Angeles. They also managed to look flash on the pitch - in a free kit from Nike.

Tony Blair's entry in the property section read: "Two flats in Bristol from which rental income may be received" - but we know all about.

So it was left to Patricia Hewitt to raise eyebrows on behalf of the Cabinet. She had a whirlwind summer last year - and so did various members of her family.

Outings included the FA Cup Final, Chelsea Flower Show, the premiere of Matrix Reloaded, Wimbledon, the British Grand Prix and Glyndebourne.

The relationship between the above and her job as Trade Secretary is a little difficult to fathom, but who can blame her?

Keith Bradley confessed to occasional trips to Old Trafford, the home of Manchester United. The amazing thing here is that he is actually from Manchester, not Surrey.

Peter Pike gets a free Burnley season ticket, which must be must more comfortable now hacks have stopped writing about fellow Clarets' fan Alastair Campbell wanting his seat as an MP.

The register, which stretches to 119-pages, also reveals the varying degrees of success of those politicians who have tried their hand in the literary world.

Robin Cook made a total of £450,000, including newspaper rights, from his memoirs. Ann Widdecombe, meanwhile, got an advance of £100,000 for her next two novels. Iain Duncan Smith's entry reads only: "Income from publication of novel, 'The Devil's Tune'"

Could reports his "fast-paced thriller", containing a "web of intrigue", has only sold 600 copies really be true? Perhaps so.

One former Tory leader not struggling for cash is William Hague, whose catastrophic failure in 2001 has brought his bank manager great happiness. He made up to £175,000 for speeches, articles, TV appearances and seminars on top of consultancies worth up to £135,000 a year.

A six-month contract, signed in December, to write for the News Of The World alone brings in up to £95,000.

Michael Portillo, who is standing down at the next election, gave notice the loss of the basic £55,000 MPs' salary will not leave him out of pocket, either. He made up to £320,000 from speeches, articles and TV appearances.

Last but not least is Edward Garnier, who proves he is no slave to political correctness.

His brilliant entry for hospitality said: "A day's shooting in Bedfordshire as guest of the Tobacco Manufacturers' Association".

Updated: 09:56 Friday, February 27, 2004