CYNICS will bray over the news that every British donkey must now have a passport, complete with sketches of it from several different angles.

But these are troubled times and the authorities are right to take steps. Without passports, how could our customs officials resist the tide of bogus asylum seeking donkeys set to storm our beaches?

Then there's terrorism. Haven't people heard of Ass Qaida, or the provisional Eeyore A?

And as for the fight against narcotics, detectives can finally crack down on a real menace - drugs mules.

Updated: 11:08 Tuesday, June 22, 2004