WHAT will those awfully nice people in Knaresborough say?

The views of that refined burgh are usually no more shocking than the fine old castle, pretty riverside and old Mother Shipton's Cave.

Suddenly, it seems, things are reaching feva pitch as a nude sculpture that caused outrage in London arrives in town.

The controversial work of art, which Londoners branded "disgusting", has gone on display in the artist's home town.

Entitled This Is Me (Who Am I?), the life-size sculpture of a naked woman is the creation of Marie White, 24, from Knaresborough. It had been exhibited in a Wimbledon art gallery, but police demanded that it be moved away from a window and partly covered up.

Now it is being shown in The Boathouse at Waterside, Knaresborough, as part of the town's feva festival, from 11am to 3pm daily, until August 22.

According to Marie the sculpture is not a publicity stunt, and not intended to cause offence. She said: "Hopefully the people of Knaresborough are a more classy crowd. I can only wonder how they will react."

Knaresborough resident Vera McHugh said: "I think people will get a surprise when they see it. But most of us expect art to be like that these days."

We've heard no stone-faced comments so far, but The Diary reckons this woman has talent and a lovely figure.

SAY the wrong word in some York pubs and you can lose your teeth.

So a Walmgate barmaid was particularly horrified when a regular customer approached the bar and lisped: "Two pints of lager, pwease, and have you seen a set of teeth?" She need not have worried, his bark was worse than his bite.

It appears the dentured reveller had over-indulged the previous day and misplaced his entire set. No doubt the pub's glass-washing machine was watched with interest that day.

And we wonder if it was his wallet that he found in a bedside glass of water the following morning.

SEEN by a colleague recently: a double-deck First Leeds bus bearing the message "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" on its electronic destination panel as it passed Leeds Station. Yes, it is still only August.

WHILE on the subject of public transport, the woman conductor on a recent 17.19 York-Leeds train was positively delighted with the public address system, even if the passengers on this crowded service were not.

As the train was about to pull out of York Station, she told her customers they should all have their tickets ready for a full inspection even if they had already been checked "as I am new to you and you are new to me".

As the train approached Leeds she gave details of the usual connections then told passengers: "Between Leeds and Huddersfield this train becomes a commuter service which means it will be packed out. It will be mayhem with people looking for seats, so if there is a hat box or a package on the seat beside you, ie something other than a bum, please remove it so someone can use that seat for the purpose for which it is intended.

"Of course, after Dewsbury, the train will not be quite so full and when we leave Huddersfield it will be positively quiet again."

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 09:13 Tuesday, August 17, 2004