MOST newlyweds plump for a disco at their wedding reception. Some have caricaturists, others push the boat out and hire a live band.

But one dramatic Yorkshire bride-to-be has gone far beyond that - by commissioning a York theatre company to perform for her guests.

In January, The Dreaming theatre group were approached by audience member Heather de la Haye, from Sheffield. She told them she was getting married in the autumn and, instead of a mobile disco, she would much rather have the actors perform one her favourite books, The Canterbury Tales, as evening entertainment.

"Of course, the cost of hiring five actors, a director and a writer, in addition to all the other costs associated with staging a play, amounted to far more than the cost of a mobile disco.

"And Heather is even having to abandon her honeymoon plans in order to have the wedding entertainment of her choice," said The Dreaming's director Lee York.

Writer-in-residence Scott Harrison has adapted a number of Chaucer's classic stories for Heather. These include The Wife Of Bath's Tale, a romp in which Mrs Bath cuckolds her husband with various younger men - perfect material for the wedding night, in fact.

The nuptial show takes place outdoors at Fountains Abbey near Ripon after the ceremony on Sunday.

The Dreaming will then give a one-off public performance of The Canterbury Tales at the Joseph Rowntree Theatre, York, on Tuesday at 7.30pm. For tickets (£10 and £12), ring 01904 621756.

A percentage of box office receipts will go to Heather, says Lee, "in the hope that she and her new husband can put it toward a belated honeymoon".

More details about The Dreaming's dramas are in our York Twenty4seven supplement.

TOUGH luck for York town crooner John Redpath.

Earlier this week we revealed how his Dean Martin impersonation had carried him all the way to the final of the karaoke contest at the Victoria Vaults, Nunnery Lane.

Despite gutsy renditions of That's Amor and What Do You Want To Make Those Eyes At Me For, the town crier and magician failed to take top spot.

John tells the Diary that a student called Ken rightly claimed the trophy.

AFTER a reader highlighted the dubious English used to describe works of art on display at St Mary's Church, we have received more on the subject.

Ron Willis, of Priory Street, who is word perfect in a prolific correspondence, berates one particular inaccuracy from our own hallowed pages.

"It has always prompted apoplexy in this sagging old pedant: 'The court heard how...'

"Now, the court could well have been told, but it didn't necessarily hear. Magistrates, particularly the learned old hands, have been known to nod off.

"Only momentarily of course, when they know what's next."

The Diary is a fan of our beer-drinking, cycling Lord Mayor, Coun Janet Looker.

But even this top politician suffers an occasional slip of the mother tongue - or at least someone in the civic office does.

A sheet of biographical information on her worship sent out by said office reveals Coun Looker is an English graduate, but then omits a possessive apostrophe, gives the wrong spelling for "its" and includes a verb-free sentence.

CHRISTMAS bumf has started flooding into Walmgate. But have any shops put up their decorations up yet?

The Diary would be grateful for news of any moronically early Chrimbo offers you have seen.

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN Email diary@ycp.co.uk Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 11:06 Friday, September 17, 2004