IS the tidal wave of anti-social behaviour in York really just a trickle? Before the Diary desk is engulfed by angry residents who have suffered at the hands of the ASBO army, we must say this is not necessarily our view.

Instead, it was suggested by front line crimefighters the York Neighbourhood Watch Association.

The association's annual general meeting was held at the Holiday Inn, Tadcaster Road, on Monday. Included with the agenda was a report by the chairman, Jean Julian.

"We have been disheartened by the poor response to our conference on Anti-Social Behaviour," Mrs Julian writes, "and trust that this is due to your problems being less than perceived rather than the choice of a Saturday in October."

AS part of their renewed publicity drive, Osbaldwick newts Newton and Ridley are at last ready to release their debut single (subject to a few minor technicalities, such as finding a record label, overcoming copyright law and the fact that they are amphibians with practically no musical experience).

It is the Diary's hot tip for the Christmas number one, even though it will be up against Bob Geldof's song Did They Know It Was Christmas In 1984?

The newt duet is a rewritten version of Joni Mitchell's classic Big Yellow Taxi. It is a protest song which draws attention to the loss of their habitat should the new village of Derwenthorpe be built.

It is called Big Yellow JCB, and the lyrics to a couple of verses and the chorus are below (PPG stands for planning policy guidelines incidentally).

Meanwhile, today's Newts4Justice pic shows Newton gamely hanging on to the Lord Mayor's knocker, on the front door of the Mansion House.

They paved paradise

and put up a park & ride.

With a pink road hump, bollard

and a double yellow line.

Don't it always seem to go

that you don't know what you've got

till it's gone.

They paved paradise

and put up a park & ride.

They took all the trees

and put 'em in the Castle Museum.

And they charged York people

their council tax just to see 'em.

Hey Galloway

put away your PPG now.

You're blighting our fields,

killing the birds and the bees.

MILD enough for you? It might not last. According to back issues of the Evening Press, there was one degree of frost in York in both mid-November 1904 and 1954. Will the pattern continue? Time for a spot of thermal warming perhaps.

Chris Titley

Updated: 09:58 Friday, November 05, 2004