ONE of the Diary's spies has reported how the regular crowd of dim-witted, slack-jawed sportswear-wearing criminals has been trying to take advantage of the arson attack on York Crown Court.

Suddenly, covering the 25 miles between York and Leeds, where all cases have been moved, is tougher than a round-the-world trip in an inflatable dingy piloted by members of celebrity Big Brother.

Barristers began jumping up left, right and centre to point out how their absent clients were either travelling to the wrong court or getting lost en-route.

Thankfully, forward-thinking court bosses had posted attendants at the fire-hit York building to re-route all visitors. It's a bit like tourist information, but without the open-top bus trips.

Once such manoeuvre evoked little sympathy with Judge Jim Spencer QC, who cried "warrant without bail". Every constable in the country can now help round up the reluctant travellers.

ON the subject of the umpteenth run of the Channel 4 reality show, has anyone noticed that the wee Kenzie fella from Blazin' Squad is relying on his legion of young fans to propel him to victory?

Well, don't hold your breath little one. If the Diary's memory is correct, the London pop sensations only half-filled York's Fibbers venue for a charity gig last year.

It was something to do with young text message ticket winners not being able to travel up the country at short notice according to the promoters, but whatever the turnout it was certainly more lukewarm than blazin'.

EVENING Press reporter, raconteur and cyclist Matthew Woodcock was delighted with the reception he got from a gang of local youths after negotiating a flooded cycle path beside the River Ouse.

He joined a trail of plucky two-wheelers who hauled themselves through the floodwater by holding on to a fence on a trip from the city centre to Leeman Road.

The journey was fraught with danger, with a cold and wet welcome for anyone who lost their grip in the icy shin-deep water.

The youngsters had set themselves up on a nearby vantage point and were cheering on anyone who made the trip without incident. What a heart-warming tale.

Updated: 09:44 Tuesday, January 11, 2005