IS life speeding up? The Diary is used to the September deluge of Christmas gift ideas, but this is the first time we have received an April Fool in February.

It's a good one, mind. Carefully mocked up on City of York Council headed notepaper, the letter that landed on our desk is an exact replica of those sent out to local residents asking for comments on a new planning application.

But this is no ordinary plan. It is for "a 28-storey tower block of 116 flats with below water level moorings".

Purporting to come from the very real Simon Glazier, a development control officer at the council, it is the sort of thing that could easily spark banner-waving public protests.

But the clues are there that this is a mischievous work of fiction. The size of the development for one (even by recent standards) - and those moorings for all submarine-based York commuters.

And then there is the reference number: WR/007/FOOL. That ties in with the closing date for objections: April 1, 2005.

The Diary's razor-sharp mind immediately linked this cheeky "application" with the proposal to bring a 54 metre-high Ferris wheel to Tower Gardens. You might even say it is a satirical spin on the story.

ANY reporter will tell you telephone skills are a vital part of the job. This has never been more so since North Yorkshire Police changed their media voicebank number.

The voicebank is a recorded information line offering traffic and yob updates for Her Majesty's press.

But the 0871 number is very close to that which connects callers to sleazy sex lines and chat rooms.

And there were red-faces all around when one Evening Press hack kept getting a breathless woman offering a range of "fantasy delights" for anyone willing to press the star button. And no, it wasn't Della.

As for rumours that the newsroom telephone bill has shot through the roof, Diary can assure the editor they are unsubstantiated.

GOOD to see the Diary's impeccable showbiz credentials remain intact. Last March we reported how York actor Mark Addy's show Still Standing had proved a hit on US TV.

This was confirmed by our report yesterday that his show is now out-rating The Simpsons.

It's no wonder that we were awarded the status of "honorary 3am boy" by former Mirror editor Piers Morgan (before he left in, ahem, disgrace).

ANOTHER vote floods in for what we might, in a moment of desperation, call Library Idol: the quest to find suitable people to be immortalised in the empty plinths at York Central Library.

Regular contributor Chris Wood is the second reader to suggest York-born comedian Frankie Howerd.

Why not go the whole hog and name a street after him, suggests Chris?

"Frankie Howerd's Close would give everyone something to think about, Howerd's End might be worth considering - although personally I'd prefer Oooer-Missus Street or perhaps Shut-Yer-Gob-Gate."

Updated: 12:10 Wednesday, February 09, 2005