I'M tired of hearing about grumpy old men and even grumpier old women.

Following the TV series, a battle of the sexes seems to have flared up with women claiming men are worse, and vice versa.

There has even been research into the subject, which found men tend to mellow as they get older, showing less anger, but women, it appears, remain just as cross when they are 60 as they were at 18.

I disagree. I wasn't cross when I was 18 or 20, or 25, or even 30 - and neither was my husband. But from our mid-30s onwards, have we made up for that. I'm 44 and I couldn't be crosser - well, if someone tipped a vat of treacle over my computer, slashed my car tyres and called me "Ginger", I suppose I could be - and my husband is just the same.

We chunter through each day, grumbling, griping and groaning. We are Grumpy Mid-Lifers, and our friends in the same age group are the same. Discontent rules the 40-somethings yet, unlike pensioners, we haven't been given our own TV slot to air our million and one grievances.

Surely everyone has heard of the mid-life crisis? How do they think the expression came about? It's certainly not borne out of contentment.

Once you reach middle age, the things you always thought you would do but haven't - travel the world, write a novel, become a film star, marry Donny Osmond (I'm just about over that one) - dominate your thoughts. Whereas, in the past, you didn't mind not having done these things because there was always time to fit them in, as you're approaching 40 you begin to think the terrifying thought that you will probably never fulfil your dreams. You realise you are saddled with responsibilities. Maybe you've got a family, a hefty mortgage, or both and can't just go off and do what you like. Or you may not feel up to it. It is amazing how exhausting life becomes once you hit 40. It is an effort to stay up beyond 10pm.

Women lose their figures, men lose their hair. We all start losing our minds. People start saying: "You are not getting any younger" and engage you in conversations harking back to "the good old days when kids could play on the street without the need to keep an eye on them". And you reply: "Oh yes, and we had our back door open all day and night."

A year or so of this and you start thinking along the lines of "so, this is it..." That's when the panic sets in. Women respond by having facelifts and flirting with 20-something lads. Men buy Harley Davidson motorbikes and dice with death on the roads. Both are dissatisfied and because they cannot see a way to fulfil their aspirations, they become angry.

I think the middle-aged are by far the most furious section of society. The wrinkles that start to appear are the result of being cross, of frowning or of snarling.

We are the role models for grumpiness, not the likes of Germaine Greer and the TV character Victor Meldrew. In fact, most old people I know are quite content.

We are the top grumps - so come on TV bosses, let us have our slot. Around 30,000 hours of footage covering 20 years should be about right.

Updated: 09:23 Tuesday, April 12, 2005