OH, the FA Cup final. That wonderful bastion of English football, the grand finale of the domestic season (barring the play-offs, of course). In this week's High Fives, Peter Martini commemorates, and perhaps celebrates, those foolish Cup Final Day deeds that made us cringe, cry or laugh in equal measure.
There have been magic moments aplenty down the years - the great goals, the great celebrations, the great saves and great triumphs.
But, as for every action there is a reaction, so it is that for every fantastic feat there is a madcap moment.
First up comes that mainstay of the football boob, Paul Gascoigne. The Geordie had the world at his feet in 1991. He had just enjoyed probably his best ever season for Spurs following his rise to international stardom at Italia '90, and had agreed a big money move to Italian giants Lazio.
But when Cup Final day came, he got a bit overexcited and paid the price.
He had already made one crude chest-high tackle on Nottingham Forest midfielder Garry Parker when he lunged crazily at Gary Charles, sending the Forest full-back flying.
But whereas Charles got up, Gazza stayed down, having damaged his knee so severely he missed his first season in Rome and, some would argue, never quite rediscovered all the dazzling magic that had made him so special.
Cock-ups don't come much bigger than scoring an own goal, and own goals don't get much worse when they win the Cup for the opposition.
Stand up, or rather stand in the corner and face the wall, Gary Mabbutt and Des Walker - we'll count them as one.
These two England internationals blundered in the 1987 and 1991 finals, as Mabbutt's clumsy knee gave Coventry the cup while Walker's misdirected header handed Gazza's Tottenham team victory.
Just two years before Mabbutt's muddle, another international defender made a numpty name for himself.
Manchester United and Ireland centre-back Kevin Moran made history when he became the first player ever to be sent off in the Cup final.
Everton midfielder Peter Reid had broken clean through only for Moran to slide in and hack him down. Today it would have been an automatic early bath without a second thought. Back in 1985, there were thoughts aplenty but referee Peter Willis brandished red nonetheless.
United went on to win 1-0 in extra time with a Norman Whiteside goal, but no thanks to Moran, who was not even allowed to collect a medal, although, as Irish luck would have it, the FA decided a few days later that Moran should have one.
Moran had also won a winner's medal with United in 1983 - but only thanks to Brighton and Hove Albion's gauche goal-getter Gordon Smith.
Gary Stevens had equalised for the underdogs with three minutes to go and as the clock ticked down, Smith, who had actually scored Brighton's first goal that day, was presented with a glorious opportunity to complete a major shock.
BBC Radio commentator Peter Jones famously cried: "And Smith must score!" Only he didn't - he scuffed his shot into goalkeeper Gary Bailey's legs.
The game ended 2-2, United walked it in the replay, and Brighton fans later named their fanzine "And Smith Must Score!" - the same title Smith gave to his autobiography.
We will stick with strikers to find the last of our five final fools - Liverpool's spot-kick nincompoop John Aldridge.
Everybody hails Wimbledon goalkeeper Dave Beasant for his penalty save which helped the Dons beat the Reds 1-0 in a memorable shock, but that praise has merely spared Aldridge his due denunciation.
The Ireland striker's famous pause in his run-up became a stupid stutter as Beasant was not fooled and timed his dive to perfection to turn the ball around the post. Not only was it the first penalty miss in an FA Cup final but it also cost Liverpool the chance of a double. Oops.
Perhaps someone will join the list of Cup final clowns on Saturday. Let's hope so.
(By the way, we've left Elton John - who cried like a baby after Watford lost to Everton in 1984 - off this list to spare his blushes.)
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