HOW many former professionals does it take to raise money for a North Yorkshire football club?

Not the beginning of a joke, incidentally, which will come as a relief to those familiar with Diary’s sense of humour. The answer is 14 and the club is Kirkbymoorside FC.

The club will be welcoming The Legends, an array of names whose playing days are behind them, including erstwhile England international defender Gary Pallister and former Middlesbrough midfielder Craig Hignett, for a fundraising match on May 10.

The aim is to help the club raise its share of the £750,000 needed for new pitches, a drainage scheme, floodlights, stand and clubhouse. Blimey, Cristiano Ronaldo earns that in the time it takes him to tie his shoelaces. But he’s unlikely to be playing in this one.

Organiser Alex Strickland said: “We need new facilities desperately – our juniors can’t even get changed in our changing rooms because they are in such a bad state.”

The match will be followed by a reception at the Kings Head Hotel in Kirkbymoorside, where The Legends will be on hand to chat to fans. For information, e-mail tim.elliott@hotmail.co.uk or astrickland81@hotmail.co.uk

By the way, when Diary mentioned this shindig to our deputy head of sport, his response was: “The size of Pallister these days, they’ll struggle to find a shirt to fit.” Still, what else do you expect from a Liverpool fan?