AAAAARGH! It’s started already. No sooner is Christmas and New Year over with than the heartless swines in advertising start bombarding us with ways to part us with our cash at the next over-commercialised celebration.

This one is for Valentine’s Day and with The Diary’s wallet full of cobwebs after the festive splurge, the last thing we are thinking about is shelling out some readies on “sexy, ethical lingerie” for our better half.

They may be as “soft as silk” and don’t kill dolphins in their production but please, give us a break. Apart from the fact that it’s far too early to be even thinking about Valentine’s Day, have these people not heard that everyone’s skint, redundancies are rife and we’re all going to Hell in a handcart. The next thing they’ll be advertising is Faberge eggs – the perfect present for Easter.