MY parents died in 2010 and 2013 and I still have boxes to ‘go through’.

Two friends are downsizing and deciding on what to do with a lifetime of ‘stuff’.

Twenty-eight years ago I had a home which I had to leave more quickly than I had ever imagined.

I was more fortunate than victims of fire, flood and other natural disasters who barely have time to save themselves. I had time to walk around the house, looking at everything and deciding what I needed. Not wanted, but needed.

I realised that it wasn’t the individual items so much as the irreplaceable memories associated with them.

Taking emotions out of the decision-making, I saw replaceable pieces of wood, glass, and fabric.

The decisions became easier. I recall my mother trying to get my sister and I interested in what we could share when she had died, but that sounded too grim for us to consider and we wouldn’t do it.

As it was, she lived for another 25 years.

Now I’m of a similar age, I can understand how practical she was being.

To this end, I have a folder on the laptop. I am listing various items, their history and why I have them. I’ve realised that while some items mean something to me, they don’t hold any memories for the children, while others do.

When the time comes, the list will help the family make their decisions and provide some family history too.

Rita Leaman is a psychotherapist and writes as Alison R Russell (chasingbows.org.uk/ alisonrussell275.blogspot.co.uk)