Campaign to help parents talk to children about sexual abuse

Return Of Pantosaurus has been set up by the NSPCC, and supported by The Mummy Diaries, with an aim to encourage parents to talk to their children about keeping safe from sexual abuse.

The NSPCC's PANTS rule encourages parents to talk to their children that Privates are private, Always remember your body belongs to you, No means no, Talk about secrets that upset you, and Speak up - someone can help.

Playtime with Pantosaurus is a free game available on iOS and Android, to encourage children who have received new phones or tablets for Christmas to reinforce their understanding on staying safe from sexual abuse.

Sam Faiers, The Mummy Diaries star who is supporting the campaign, said: "As a mum to two young children nothing is more important to me than keeping them safe.

"By talking PANTS regularly with my children as they grow, I’m confident they can keep safe from abuse and that they would talk to me about anything that’s upsetting them."

Peter Wanless, CEO of the NSPCC, said: "Most parents now recognise that they need to speak to their young children about the dangers they may face from sexual abuse, both in the online and real world, as they grow up.

"However, the reality of having these conversations can be both daunting and very uncomfortable. That is why the NSPCC has created the Talk PANTS campaign and continues to develop new ways for Pantosaurus to help young children learn how to stay safe from sexual abuse."

CASE STUDY

*Names have been changed to protect identities*

One mother said her daughter was exposed to inappropriate activity after she separated from her husband, including his new violent relationship.

She said: "I began to notice changes in Gemma’s behaviour in the years that followed. She became anxious and withdrawn and wouldn’t open up to me.

"When Gemma* was seven, she told me that she had watched pornography with her father. It was a massive shock. I didn’t want her to see Andy* anymore but the courts ordered that contact with him should continue anyway, despite everyone’s concerns. A few months later, whilst in her father’s care, Gemma’s older brother Alex*intervened in a physical assault involving Andy and his partner. I stopped my children having contact with Andy immediately on the advice of social services."

When Gemma's behaviour continued to deteriorate, she became angry and could not sustain friendships, and the woman said she "had a gut feeling that something was wrong because she was crying out for attention".

She said: "I felt like I needed to talk to her.

"When Gemma was nine, I saw the PANTS rule on the NSPCC website and I decided to go through it with her one evening after my other children had gone to bed. She disclosed that her father had sexually abused her. I tried to hold myself together in that moment and remain calm so that she felt safe. I just listened. I held my daughter tight and got her to bed before contacting the police and reporting the abuse."

Police were contacted, and Gemma's father was charged and went to court. Gemma gave evidence by video link, but Andy was found not guilty.

The mother said: "When the verdict came back and I found out that Andy hadn’t been convicted, I felt like I was grieving and like he’d manipulated everything. The jury focussed on inconsistencies around Gemma’s description of the environment where the abuse happened. I remember feeling very vulnerable at that time.

"Gemma is ten now, she’s safe and a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. But she still has difficult moments, like when she see’s something on TV that triggers memories of the abuse. She’ll hug me and I’ll know she’s upset and thinking about things. It’s been very hard. She wasn’t able to get any support during the court case for legal reasons, which has been tough, but she’s now on the waiting list to receive help from Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAHMS). She will be going to secondary school soon and I know she’ll need that help more than ever."

The mother said the PANTS rule meant she was able to speak to her daughter and help her move on with her life.

She said: "My advice to parents is to use the PANTS rule as early as possible. I wish I’d used it sooner. It’s child friendly and uses age appropriate language. If there is a disclosure, I would say to parents, just listen to your child and support them. Tell them they are brave and that you’ll do something about what they’ve told you.

"I’m so grateful to the NSPCC for the PANTS rule. It’s giving children the empowerment to stand up and speak out when something’s not right. I want to help other parents to overcome the fear of having the conversation and encourage them to not ignore their gut feeling when their instincts are telling them that something’s wrong."