DO you ever have those dreams where you wake up and think “thank God that wasn’t real?” Mine are the usual ones such as being back at school and turning up for an exam (always maths) having done no revision.

I can almost feel the panic as we are told to “turn over and begin” and I stare at a page of meaningless algebra then look around to see fellow students, heads down, confidently scribbling away.

I had another one the other week where I kept shouting during a theatre performance, much to the annoyance of the actors. Thankfully the buttock-clenching embarrassment faded as I awoke and realised I hadn’t actually made a complete idiot of myself in a packed but hushed theatre.

So it was with abject horror that I awoke on Sunday morning to see the previous day’s edition of The Press wasn’t a fancy of my imagination, but actually did feature a front-page story on the closure of Lendal Bridge to private cars.

For a second I considered rolling the paper up and whacking myself over the head in the hope I would wake up in bed free from the dark fantasies my subconscious was serving up while I slept. Alas, no. The headline remained the same and it’s now Friday morning. So unless this is the longest nightmare ever I must assume I am indeed awake and that Lendal Bridge, one of only three traffic bridges in the centre of York, is actually closing to private vehicles, for most of the day, from August.

I would like to say I could offer something above and beyond what was said in the hundreds of incredulous online reader comments which instantly began to appear at the bottom of this heart-sinking story, but I can’t, so I will try to crystallise here the obvious and terrifying ramifications of a decision so mystifying it borders on the psychedelic.

Let’s get one thing clear – cars are here to stay. They have been around for a few years now and seem to be catching on.

Yes, there are more of them about now and there’s quite a few in York. So why does the council think the way to end congestion and the pollution is to reduce the amount of road for cars to drive upon?

Coun Dave Merrett, for it is he who came up with this one, said the closure, scheduled for 10.30am to 5pm daily for a six-month trial, was a response to residents who had consistently told him that reducing congestion and improving bus services were their top priorities.

He told The Press: “Freeing bus services from congestion in the city centre is fundamental to making services more reliable and attractive to potential users.”

Great, but what happens when those buses, after gliding unimpeded along Lendal Bridge, venture into Clifton or Leeman Road or Blossom Street and hit a ring of solid steel, comprising stationary vehicles and drivers turned feral with rage?

How will this reduce pollution? The air may be cleaner around Lendal Bridge but what about those shops, businesses and homes on the outskirts of the city centre, such as Gillygate, which will have an endless slug of slow-moving cars crawling past their doors as traffic is squeezed into fewer roads?

What happens when there’s an accident on the ring road or any other of the city’s roads? The slightest upset to York’s delicate traffic constitution invariably has a huge knock-on effect all over the city so why are we blocking a main artery? Oh, and did I mention it’s going to cost £170,000?

I’m sorry to disappoint the few who believe residents of York and visitors to the city will abandon their cars for bicycles and public transport. A few people may, but nowhere near the number needed to transform York into the Nirvana that a handful of individuals seem to think can be achieved.

If we let Lendal Bridge fall you can bet it will be Exhibition Square next then Micklegate then who knows where?

In my last column I called for a review of every road in York which had been closed to traffic in the last 20 years, with a view to reopening those which would ease congestion.

I make that call again now, only this time I would add that with an issue as controversial and potentially catastrophic as closing one of York’s bridges there simply must be a public consultation. This is too important to be left in the hands of a local authority with a track record of demonising the car along with failed and costly road closure policies.