I’VE BEEN in a web wilderness for days and it’s like being in a big black hole. For it’s only when you can’t access it that you realise just how big a part the internet plays in how we live our lives.

The technical incapability of our internet service provider (ISP) has, at the time of writing, denied us the capability to conduct the equivalent of eight days’ work – pretty cataclysmic when you’re a computer-based small business.

And what’s made it so much more frustrating is that after days of the provider blaming British Telecom as providers of the broadband hardware that brings the internet into our home-based office, it turns out it was their problem all along. Just as we knew it was from the outset.

And then they took days to sort it out, failing to return phone calls when promised, fobbing us off at every turn, not contacting their engineers to jolly them along when they said they would do so, and when they eventually did, encountering bolshie technicians refusing to estimate how long it would take them to sort out their wiring or whatever it is they do.

Add to that the difficulties of trying to understand what you’re being told when the call centre customer service types do speak to you, because their English is so heavily accented and it’s not that good a line from their call centre in India.

So far we’ve spent more than six hours of our time on the phone trying to sort out the problem – time that we can ill afford, made even worse because that time has been encapsulated within the call centre opening times between 9am and 6pm. I call that pretty dumb, given that we live in a 24-hour internet access world. Or, rather, we would do if it worked.

So, to keep our little business running, when we’re not on the phone trying to get some sense out of people about when we will have internet access again (“sorry”, they say, “we can’t tell you...”), we’re spending a fortune on fraps and wraps sitting in free wi-fi access caffs or sandwich shops just to get a window on the world.

But when we’re not doing that it’s really odd going back to newspapers and the telly to get a lowdown on the news, for example. With the internet you can dip in and out of various news websites to find out what’s going on out there, but now we have to actually pick up a newspaper and turn the pages. Fancy!

Seriously, the instant access to the world that the internet affords is something most of us probably take for granted now, so when it’s not there it’s like fumbling around in the dark because someone’s switched off the light.

Such is our disgust with our non-performing, customer unfocused ISP that we now desperately want to move to another one. But we need the internet to research what’s out there and who can provide the best deal for our needs.

Because, funnily enough, phone books don’t have access details for ISPs when the chips are down, because all contact information is web-based.

Keeping in touch with clients and customers via email is currently a no-go area, so we’re having to resort to sending them messages by phone or text. But we can’t attach documents or reports, which is what we need to do – hence the trips to the local frap or wrap shop – plus many of their contact details are held in electronic contact books that need the internet to power them up.

This column normally wings its way to The Press over the ether with the pressing of the “send” key, but it’s ended up on the subs’ desk only after a trip to the office and the proffering of a memory stick. That was a round trip of 20 miles, plus the cost of petrol, so this being without the internet lark is proving to be somewhat expensive, as well as bloody inconvenient.

And I’ve realised just how often in our household we say “I’ll check online”, because every time I do now I have to pull myself up short and think of other ways of accessing the information I need.

As for my son, he’s completely bereft without it. Not being able to access his school’s intranet or education websites so he can complete homework is proving to be an obstacle that’s incurring the wrath of teachers.

And his social life has fallen apart because he can’t find instant distractions from getting on with his work and chat to his mates on Facebook. Aha! I knew it! There is a silver lining to all this after all…