How long does it take to change a lightbulb?

Several weeks, which could turn into months, possibly even years. I rang our local council weeks ago about a light that had gone out in our street.

Some of my neighbours are elderly and find walking along the pavement and putting bins out tricky in the dark, so I rang to ask for the bulb to be replaced, in white, as it was before weeks went by, so I rang again. I’d been given a reference number, but was told it was not relevant. Someone, they said, would get back to me. No-one did, so again I rang, and this time was told that the case had been closed with no action to be taken as the bulb could not be converted to orange, as had been requested. The one thing I remember stressing was that it should be replaced like for like - in white.

Exasperated, I passed the issue on to our local councillor, who has also attempted to kick start the obviously very complex process of replacing the bulb, as yet to no avail.

Why is everything so difficult these days? Whether local authorities, financial institutions or retail chains, customer service is worse than ever.

It was the same when our large black bin went missing. No-one knew where it had gone and I was told to report it stolen and order a new one at a cost of almost £40. I became paranoid, convinced someone wanted to rifle through our rubbish. Then, a day or so later, as we were about to fork out for a replacement, we were told that it had been devoured into the rear of the bin wagon during collection and a card had been posted through the door.

I found this scrap of paper behind the shoe rack: it was tiny, grubby and torn - not something to alert a household to something they needed to know.

This week I attempted to contact the bank about a problem involving my daughter. There was no category on the never-ending list of options that fitted my query, so I held on, hoping someone would answer.

York Press:

Holding on, hoping for an answer

Instead, an automated voice recording said that as I had not selected an option the call would be discontinued. I called again, the same happened. There wasn’t even an option for customer service.

Shops are no better. In a local DIY store this week, my mum selected a mixer from the display. It was the last one, so instead of telling us that, a different, cheaper one was packaged up for her. I was sorting this out with the department manager when his mobile phone rang. He immediately broke off the conversation and walked away chatting. I was going to complain, but, these days, when no one seems to care, what good would it do?

*We are pleased to report that, since Helen finished writing this column, the light in her street has been fixed.