Murky waters

That's what Kia Koorabjian, his representative, believes will happen to the Argentinian international.

Call Mr Koorabjian whatever - representative, asset-manager, company director, deal-broker - what is without doubt is that he has opened the key to the football equivalent of Pandora's Box.

And out of that once-locked chest has wriggled the messiest and most mysterious of worms, whose trail remains cloaked in infuriating invisibility.

Therein lies the inherent problem. Just ask West Ham, who initially entered into an outrageously outlandish deal that brought Tevez and his fellow Argentinian international Javier Mascherano to Upton Park last August.

Just ask too Sheffield United against whom Tevez's footballing artistry rebounded the most to send the Blades running back to the Championship after their latest one-season tenure in the top-flight.

Not convinced? Then heed the wise words of Manchester United's maestro, Sir Alex Ferguson. Ahead of the impending arrival of Tevez to the north-west Ferguson declared how his Mr T had "saved West Ham".

So highly does Fergie rate the 22-year-old that he is prepared to sanction his paymasters to shell out a rumoured £30 million for the striker.

But to whom does the cash go? Surely West Ham. As they told last spring's FA inquiry into the charge of breaking registration rules, they had since ended the loan agreement entered into with Mr Koorabjian. The upshot was a record £5.5 million fine for the Hammers and not the points deduction that everyone connected with the game from top executive to turnstile operator expected.

But what about Mr K? If he or his company still owns the player, or rather his registration, then any transfer fee should be going their way. See what I mean about messy.

And deep among all this disarray teeters the powers that be, again. Both the FA and the Premier League are culpable for first, not acting in concert, and second, for playing the game of ostrich politics.

When all the kerfuffle first kicked off West Ham were deemed marooned near the foot of the Premiership leaving the force of natural justice to come into play and spare the making of any unpopular decision.

West Ham, however, had not read that particular script and produced the sort of form in the run-in, which, spread over an entire season, would have sealed a Champions League berth rather than relegation.

At the spearhead of the claret and blue revival was none other than Senor Tevez.

So let him go to United - but not that of Manchester. Let him be farmed out to the United of Sheffield for next season alone. If he's that good - and judging by his Copa America performances he is - then he will propel the Blades to the Premiership place they believe is rightfully theirs. Somehow I don't think Mr T, KK, nor Sir Alex will go along with that, and so the running sore will fester.

As football mires itself in another pond of procrastination, cricket, that game of gentlemen, is also embroiled in a mess of its own making.

The decision to replay the county championship game between Worcestershire and Kent has brought a storm of protest, with no less than vociferous opposition from Yorkshire, the current leaders.

Initially, I thought hang on a minute. Both Worcestershire and Kent are struggling at the foot of the table even with the benefit of the game getting a second chance after it was KO'd after the New Road ground in Worcester was submerged by several feet of water for many days of last month's deluge.

However, what about all those Twenty20 Cup ties similarly drowned by the near-apocalyptic weather conditions of June? No replays then, no second helpings then - just the points split.

So they were when the Worcestershire-Kent game was originally abandoned until the ECB's bizarre about-turn.

Maybe Sheffield United should take a different tack and hark back to last season when one of their Premiership games was played in conditions too wet, too windy, too cold in which to play proper football.

• THE word proper brought to mind the outbreak of British back-slapping at the end of the Wimbledon fortnight.

Amid the cacophony stood Jamie Murray, lesser-known sibling of great Brit hope Andy Murray, who celebrated his brother's crowning as Wimbers mixed doubles champion alongside Jelena Jankovic.

Good to see a Brit win in SW19, but come on, this is mixed doubles, played over three sets and usually when most of the Wimbledon crowds have dispersed thereby missing games higher on trick shots and amusement than star-chamber tennis.

Time for a reality check. With someone as good as Miss Jankovic in tow, I reckon anyone with a Green Shields stamps racquet might have a chance of some success.