I CAN see nothing condescending or potentially condescending in the term “‘love” (Andrew Hitchon, October 25). I find it delightful to be so addressed.
“My love” is even better. I also like darling and pet. All bestowed by women, of course. From “men” I tolerate the almost universal mate. Addressed as “sir”, I instinctively check my wallet. I draw the line at “squire”. I was once addressed as “driver”, which I thought rather presumptuous, but the circumstances required some explanation, and I dare say it was an official attempt to avoid over-familiarity. Then there was the occasion, while staying on a Highland farm, I inadvertently stampeded the farmer’s prize dairy herd. Not having the Gaelic, and too shy to ask for a translation, I decided to overlook what I suspected might be a momentary lapse of courtesy engendered by mutual misunderstanding.
One should adapt oneself to the mores of the natives, both nationally and locally. Besides, it is possible to be too fastidious. In summing up, a distinguished high-court judge once complimented me on my courtesy: then found against me!
William Dixon Smith, Welland Rise, Acomb, York.
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