FOR years people have been seeking to kill the monster that is the Eurovision Song Contest.

Defenders say that it is ironic and not to be taken seriously, but it is also not entertaining in its predictable awfulness, and I watched only the last half hour of the voting last weekend.

Terry Wogan is as bored with it as we are with him.

So here's the solution. We invite the Americans to enter (as European as Israel), let them win, get them to organise the next year's event, and then we just don't turn up - none of us. Perhaps this would be the shock that would get them to withdraw their troops from Iraq/Afghanistan. Now that would be ironic. Of course, there is a risk that the withdrawn troops would then be free to invade Europe (except Israel), but that's a risk I'm prepared to take. Who's with me?

Clive Woolley,

Mill Hill Drive,

Huntington,

York.

Updated: 09:45 Tuesday, May 23, 2006