A HEARTY well done to York's Dr Nicola Gill who, we read yesterday, has won a prize from the Plain English Campaign. Her healthy heart leaflet was a model of readability, the campaign said.

Perhaps City of York Council could ask Dr Gill to translate some of its output. What, we wonder, would she make of this?

"The analysis step framework and reporting template prompt the proper approach to whole-life costing assessment of strongest options. The approach in covering fabric, situational, technological, financial and grant-sourcing implications should provide the authority with a complete data summary supporting grant sourcing and bid development..."

And so it goes on.

This is an extract from the electrifying Sustainable Energy In Council Meetings Part Two: Generating The Future.

We missed part one, but judging by the sequel it must have been a blockbuster.

Councillors on the scrutiny management committee were asked to comment on the report at their meeting this week. They were suitably impressed, resolving to "recognise the panel's enthusiastic and committed approach to the topic".

"However," they went on, "the technical specialist information as presented within the report makes it inaccessible to ordinary members of the public.

"SMC suggest that the wording of the report is simplified before presentation to the executive."

Put plainly, they didn't understand a word.

WHAT was that strange phenomenon seen over Huntington yesterday morning? It left one postal worker quite shaken.

She described seeing a perfect circle of smoke in the sky with tentacles of smoke snaking from the lower part of the disc.

Did anyone else see it? Any ideas what it might be?

CHANNEL 4 is looking for people who have fond memories of their 1990s stag or hen night. In the Diary's opinion, if you can remember anything, it can't have been that memorable.

Nevertheless, should you wish to share your handcuffed-to-a-lamppost-naked stories with the nation then phone Roz on 0117 925 8589.

ACCORDING to a website, quoted by the Diary earlier this week, Selby's main selling point is "at least it's not Goole".

This has enraged the reader known only as Whipmawhopmagate. "In Monday's Dairy you made a doubtful reference to Goole," Whip writes.

"We of TRUSS (Goolie supporters) believe you do not appreciate the wonders of our town."

Look, it's not our fault, blame those scurrilous internet authors. The Diary hails both the East Yorkshire port and its supporters' group (motto: "In Goole we Truss").

Yesterday we received this postcard from Whip. "Derogatory Diary comments about Goole?" it said. "Look at the wondrous views and weep."

Updated: 10:55 Friday, March 03, 2006