IT was good to read in last night's Evening Press that Copmanthorpe community football club has organised a week-long course for budding Beckhams at Oaklands Sports Centre, in Acomb, York, this half term.

We were, however, surprised by the kit required. Astroturf-friendly trainers, shin pads, a packed lunch... fair enough; but a cap and sun block?

As someone whose skin blisters the moment Penny Tranter says "sunny spells", your Diarist applies factor 30 like Channel swimmers slap on goose fat.

But even we would feel relatively safe in Acomb, in February.

Then again, it's best to prepare for every eventuality.

In this spirit we would advise parents to pack their children off to Oaklands with crocodile repellent, hard hats and a nuclear fallout shelter.

HERE'S a picture of that famous anti-smoking crusader Hugh Bayley. The York MP put his signature to the Commons amendment which forbids smoking in all enclosed public places from next year.

Considering this went against Labour's manifesto promise to exempt some pubs and clubs from the tobacco ban, it was an uncharacteristic act of rebellion from the ultra-loyal New Labourite.

But any Grogan-like credibility earned from the insurgency disappeared when Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt voted with Hugh.

On the back of our photograph is written: "Hugh Bayley smokes his last cigarette". Since then he has kicked other filthy habits, like advocating rail nationalisation, supporting free university places and opposing illegal wars.

YORK council first tried to get a voluntary ban on smoking in public places in the Sixties.

But this was doomed to fail. One city psychiatrist was asked for his opinion.

"He wondered if we had got the lung cancer scare out of proportion," the paper reported in March 1967. "'There is far more danger of developing bronchitis than lung cancer,' he said."

Cinemas and restaurants vowed to let patrons carry on puffing. Rank Theatres, then owners of the Odeon, said a ban would provoke "difficulties of staffing and of public co-operation".

Ernest Shepherd, proprietor of the SS Empire bingo hall and Shambles restaurant, put it this way: "I think that far too many liberties are being taken away from people today."

SO what's York council's approach to its workers' health and safety these days?

Er, we'll get back to you.

"The current health and safety policy is under review and should be available from January 2006," says a message on its website.

Updated: 10:28 Thursday, February 16, 2006