CHRISTMAS cards: they say so much with so few words. The one sent to the Evening Press newsroom from Kraft Foods bears such a deeply moving message that we insist you find a hankie before you read any further.

Got one? Brace yourself.

"We aim to be a positive force in the communities in which we live, work and market our products," it begins (sniff, gulp). "As a leading food company, we support programmes that improve the quality of our communities..." (blub, blub).

Well, Kraft certainly made a difference to York this year. Quite how shutting Terry's, making hundreds of people redundant and waltzing off to Eastern Europe with York products and brands can be judged a positive move which improves the quality of our community is not immediately clear.

But any doubt should be dispelled by the slogan which sums up the Illinois-based corporation's noble works: "Kraft Cares" (uncontrollable sobs).

Meanwhile, if you are feeling full of the joys of the season, the Environment Agency's Christmas card should bring you back down to our ailing earth. The picture shows a dehydrated snowman: just his hat, coal eyes, carrot nose and stick arms remain. He's fallen victim of global warming.

Ho flippin' ho.

OUR search for funny Christmas presents prompted a letter from Mrs Watson who lives in Fulford.

"Several Christmases ago my stepmother-in-law sent us a parcel containing one sock for my husband plus the wool to knit the second one - that, of course, was for me," she writes. "My husband, an ex-sailor, could knit, though I doubt if he'd manage to turn a heel. "My present I had to wait for, the reason being that a few more Embassy coupons were needed. It was an ovenproof dish. "Sadly," Mrs Watson concludes, "my parents-in-law are no longer with us. But they weren't exactly hard up!"

REACTIONS to the third shake-up to BBC Radio York's schedules, revealed last week by the Diary, has been swift.

"I am not amazed that Radio York's figures are as low as they are," says listener Angela Usher, of Withernsea. "They foolishly got rid of the Hurley Burley show, which was a great crowd puller. Why not bring him back?"

"Re your article on Radio York, I used to be an avid fan, but this year the quality of programmes has been appalling," emails Peter Gregory. "Most of the entertaining people have gone. Why?"

Michael Brown, of Amotherby, has written to Tamsin O'Brien, the BBC's regional controller. "We have a severe decline and dumbing down of standards. All the best people have left or taken 'voluntary redundancy'," he tells her. "The whole friendly format of the station has been replaced by utter rubbish. Good programmes, like Elly's, Sandy's, Jerry's and Jonathan's are being slowly squeezed out by nonsense. Something has to be done and very quickly if you are going to retain a quality radio station in North Yorkshire."

Updated: 09:38 Thursday, December 22, 2005