INTELLECTUALS are not the only ones bereft now television's cultural zenith, Big Brother, has come to an end for another summer.

Staff at North Yorkshire's Chocolate Factory had a special reason to enjoy the Channel 4 programme: it showed their products being scoffed. The confectioners were called upon by Big Brother to supply the show with their handmade sweetmeats.

Brothers Chris and Gareth East - Hutton-le-Hole's own Willy Wonkas - were delighted to provide an array of treats made from Belgian chocolate, including steam trains, dinosaurs, footballers and rabbits, turning the studios into a dream for off-the-wagon chocoholics.

Celebrity guests and the audience on Big Brother's Big Mouth could also partake. Gareth said they were delighted to be asked to make their own small contribution to TV's most controversial series.

"We had to extend production to meet their delivery timescales," he said. "However, we did manage to take a break and tune into the show at various points throughout the evening." Mercifully, none of the fine chocolates wasinvolved in any sordid activities (unlike a certain wine bottle). To try a taste of reality telly for yourself, the Chocolate Factory has shops in Thornton-le-Dale and Hutton-le-Hole.

IT may not have had all the pomp and ceremony of Royal Ascot, but last week's Ebor meeting in York still brought out a few of the top-hat-and-tails brigade.

One such visitor will particularly remember his post-race celebrations when he paused to ask directions from a local resident in the vicinity of the railway station.

"My good fellow, could you tell me where I can find the best boozer in town?" he asked the passing Yorkie.

"You're looking at him," replied our man, without breaking his stride.

The sort of razor-sharp wit you'd never find in the champagne tents of Berkshire, surely.

READERS have been embroiled in a fascinating debate on the values of metric over imperial since York council had to re-label its footpath signs in miles.

The old way is endearingly eccentric. How anyone dreamed up a system where 20 fluid ounces makes one pint, 437.5 grains makes one ounce and 1,760 yards makes one mile is beyond us. But is there anyone who thinks in one system alone? The Diary understands... long distances in miles, short distances in metres and centimetres, and farmers' fields in acres;

hot weather in Fahrenheit (80F is too hot), and cold weather in Celsius (-2C is too cold); and human weight in stones, apples in pounds and cake ingredients in grams. Mind you, we are staunchly imperial on volume: pints of beer, gallons of petrol, and who the heck knows what a hectolitre is?

There should be a new set of measurements: for example, talent in Lennons (ie Craig David is 0.00013 of a Lennon); and gormlessness in Kaplinskies. Any more?

Updated: 09:03 Wednesday, August 24, 2005