FRIEND getting married, and you're stuck for an original present?

Feel crockery, knife blocks or travel rugs just aren't right?

The Diary has the answer: a medieval ball and chain. It's the wedding gift that says it all.

Replicas of the iron anklewear are selling like hot pokers at the Clifford's Tower gift shop, we understand. Managers have ordered more in, as both the ball and chain set and medieval-style handcuffs belie their immobile image and fly off the shelves.

"We introduced the handcuffs and ball and chain into the shop in May to coincide with our weekend presentations on gunpowder, treason and plot, and they have proved fantastically popular," says Susan Sadler, from English Heritage, which looks after York's castle.

"You get all kinds of people buying them. Several of the ball and chains have been bought as tongue-in-cheek wedding presents, and the handcuffs appeal to a wide range of people, from school children to overseas tourists."

There have also been requests for other instruments of punishment and torture demonstrated by the Lady of the Tower, Shona Griffiths, during her weekend talks.

"Many husbands are quite enthusiastic about the idea of a Scold's Bridle, which was used to stop gossiping wives from talking, while the thumb screws tend to appeal to the school parties," says Shona. "However, we have no plans to extend the retail range at the moment..."

The replica medieval handcuffs are available for £9.99, the balls and chain for £24.99.

For ease of transportation, the ball of the ball and chain is hollow, although a small hole enables it to be filled with sand or metal ball-bearings to make the weight more authentic.

Clifford's Tower is open daily from 10am to 6pm. Shona's presentations on Gunpowder, Treason and Plot take place each Saturday and Sunday from 10am to noon and 2pm to 4pm. Admission: adults £2.80, concessions £2.10, children £1.40, family ticket (two adults, up to three children) £7.

MUCH mystery surrounds manager Billy McEwan's plans for York City next season. Lots of trialists, lots of rumours, but few signings is the pattern of things at Caramac Crescent.

But after City's first pre-season friendly we can reveal what's happening. Billy has taken up the Diary's patented method of picking players with surnames which could also be first names.

It is a proven system. While five of England's Euro 2004 squad had last names that could be first names, and the team did well, we noted at the start of last season that York City only had two of the same calibre: Adam Arthur and Bryan Stewart. And we all know what happened next.

Now who do we read was City's star player in their defeat to Frickley Athletic on Wednesday? Why, Nathan Peat, a reversible name if ever we saw one.

Clearly Billy has realised that the Diary's Transposable Name System is the way to football glory. Now, whatever happened to Stanley Matthews..?

OKAY, you epitaph junkies, here's today's fix, again from Ripon.

Here lies poor, but honest, Bryan Tunstall.

He was a most expert Angler, until Death, envious of his merit, threw out his line, hook'd him,

And landed him here the 21st day of April, 1790.

Chris Titley

Updated: 09:03 Thursday, July 21, 2005