THESE bright young things are the class act of 1947... 3A of York's Park Grove School to be exact. Now Dennis Woodcock wants to get his young pals - well, they may be a year or two older these days - and pupils from 3B and 3C back together for a grand re-union at Huntington Sports Club from 6.30pm on Wednesday, August 30.

After they have done their homework, of course.

"It would be great to get our old school pals together again and chat about the old days, the old school and the old teachers. And to find out how life has treated them since they left school," says Dennis.

So if you want to catch up with your old school mates ring Dennis on 01904 762698 or write to him at 7 Meadow Way, Greenacres, Huntington, York, Y032 9QD.

Are you paying attention at the back of the class Brian Darley? Yes, you boy - and wipe that cheeky smile off you face when I'm talking!

WALKING With Dinosaurs is the new blockbuster exhibition in the Yorkshire Museum in York's Museum Gardens which runs until January 3 next year.

It is sure to be a smash with locals and visitors but I bet you didn't know that some disenchanted city council employees are calling it "Walking With Councillors."

My council mole - whose predecessor in Jurassic times was 300ft high - said wryly: "I think we may be being a bit unfair on dinosaurs, some of them had bigger brains than many of the councillors we now have to deal with."

He declined to be named for fear of starring in the city council's all-expense spared, low-budget epic coming to a dole office near you: "Walking With P45s".

YOU'VE heard of fast food, but this is ridiculous.

My mate was chatting to a local plod about a road accident down Selby way, when he was momentarily deafened by the sound of raucous laughter down the telephone.

The reason? The person on the other end of the line had just read the entry in the accident report which detailed how a four-wheel drive vehicle had been in collision with - wait for it - a red Larder. Titter if you must, but no scoffing!

Why is Michael Peters, York's education director, called Flying Officer by his stiff-upper-lipped subordinates? Because he's had to endure more government pilot schemes than the RAF.

Following last week's visit to York by the Queen, Evening Press business editor Ron Godfrey has finally admitted he once almost killed her.

On a family visit to Windsor Safari Park just to get used to his new car, a jumpy old banger with steering wheel stick-shift gears, Ron was flagged down by a policeman.

He waited nervously, knowing his car was in gear but not quite sure how to control it. Then through the trees the royal car emerged with the Queen inside.

At that very moment Ron's car lurched forward without any prompting and ended up inches from the back of the royal-mobile.

Lucky Queen, not everyone escapes Ron so easily.

CAMERA-crazy David Wood of York was amazed when he bought the latest edition of What Digital Camera? which is all about those new-fangled snappers that don't need film or old-fashioned processing. They let you show pictures on your home computer.

So guess what fell out of the digital camera mag? Only an envelope offering cut-price film processing, that's what.

Someone's out of focus, What?

HAS your pet got a drink problem?

Today I learn that pets share many human characteristics. For instance, when cats, and other critters, are emotionally upset they can drink three times more than usual. And pets do feel depression, grief, love and anxiety.

But fear nought Tiddles, help is at hand. Get your owner to paw in to Pethealthcare.co.uk for advice on how to identify and cope with whatever angst is ruffling your fur.

There is even a useful section for children, no, not with drink problems, but on how to care for their first hamster/ gerbil/ rabbit/guinea-pig or three-toed sloth.

Overheard on the jewellery counter at the Fenwick sale in Coppergate...

Young blonde to mother as she tries on a garish bracelet: "So what do you think of this one, mum ?"

Mum, snootily dismissive: "Oh no, dear. Very West Yorkshire!"

AN 11-year-old York lad asked his teacher: "'Scuse me miss, can you get in to trouble for something you haven't done?" To which she reassuringly said: "No, definitely not, Michael."

Mike beamed with relief as he said: "Thank God for that miss, 'cos I haven't done my homework."

WITH the new football season just a couple of weeks away beware of these computer viruses.

The Manchester United virus: Your PC develops a disorder whereby the memory forgets everything before 1993.

The Man United shirt virus: This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every three months.

The David Beckham virus: The lights on your PC are all on but nothing works.

The Roy Keane virus: Throws you out of Windows.

The Alex Ferguson virus: Your PC develops a continuous whining noise.

The Ryan Giggs virus: Makes your computer think it's better than it actually is.

The following footie viruses are less virulent, but it's still wise to keep an eye on them:

The David Ginola virus: Computer pretends to go down, but then boots back up and is OK.

The Glenn Hoddle virus: Disables your PC, and blames it all on its previous life as a calculator.

The Bradford City virus: Makes you think it will go down but presses escape at the last minute.