FOR some it may be the stuff of fantasy. Others will have woken in a cold sweat after seeing the image in nightmares.

But it is no longer confined to the darkest recesses of the human brain.

The Margaret Thatcher-William Hague love child is born.

From today, a computerised image of how this awesome Tory beast would look will be appearing on poster sites across the country.

It shows the current leader's face - covered in Mrs T's hair and sporting a pair of her trademark earrings.

Next to the image are the words: "Get out and vote, or they get in."

And Labour is confident it will be the final nail in the Tory coffin.

Spin master Alastair Campbell said: "Hague is the true heir of Thatcher. This will remind people of what Thatcher did to their communities."

The party was in jubilant mood all day after releasing the findings of its own private polling.

This gives Tony Blair's troops an overall lead of 20 points with just over one week to go.

Most worryingly for the Tories, it showed Labour's lead had actually increased by two points over the course of the campaign.

Indeed, it seems that Tony Blair is even in front when it comes to his behind.

According to 1,000 women surveyed for national Bottom Week, he has by far the sexiest posterior in politics.

His backside secured more than half the votes, with Charles Kennedy on 23 per cent and William Hague bringing up the rear on 20 per cent.

No wonder the lone Tory supporter standing outside Central Office yesterday morning cut such a forlorn figure.

Clutching a Union Flag bag, he had a big board round his neck which said: "Don't be vague, vote Hague."

Like everything else at Tory HQ at the moment, it looked like heavy work.

Poor old Mr Hague even had to field a question about whether he would quit politics after the Labour "rout".

He said there were still lots of people who were yet to decide how to vote - or whether they would vote at all.

All he was thinking about was polling day and winning, he added.

He had earlier said the party was doing much better than the polls suggested.

"Most of the polls don't ask the right questions," he mused.

Looking on the bright side, he added: "People aren't chasing the Tories down the garden path like last time."

Updated: 11:44 Wednesday, May 30, 2001