Abuse, violence and rape have all been explored in EastEnders over Christmas, but how do real victims cope? EMMA Harrison speaks to one 'survivor' and reports on a new support group being set up in York

PAIN, despair, devastation - these are the words one survivor uses to describe what happened to her as a child and how it has affected her adult life.

For a long time this woman thought there was no hope, no way out, no end to the vicious cycle that can trap victims of mental, physical and sexual abuse.

She still wishes to remain anonymous because of the stigma, but is telling her story because she wants people to know there is hope and there is life after abuse.

"Abuse in its many forms has been thrust upon millions of us as we've watched our TV screens these past few weeks.

"I suffered sex abuse as a child and have grown up with the burden of guilt, feeling dirty and living with the secrecy of something so disgusting you don't want people to know what happened to you."

She revealed her story to her parents as a teenager and was able to remove herself from her attacker - another member of her family. But it wasn't until her early 20s that she was forced to confront her nightmares.

"Now I feel like one of the lucky ones really - I dealt with a lot of what had happened to me when I was still young enough to move on and get my life back together.

"I was at university and I was spiralling into depression and venting my anger on my parents. I knew I wasn't coping with life as an adult. I became insular, couldn't sleep and when I did the nightmares came.

"On the outside, I was a happy popular girl; on the inside, I was twisted up and knotted in the past. Haunted by his face and what he did. I had to seek help."

As she says, every story is different but the same issues so often arise: the effect on the individual, justice - or the lack of it - and the devastating effect on everyone around.

"Just getting help was painful - owning up to the fact that this had happened to me."

She sought help through Survive, a York support group for adult women who have suffered childhood sexual abuse, and attended a self-help group.

"I was terrified - I even wondered if there would be someone there I knew. Facing people outside my family with my terrible secret was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

It was a terrible disturbance to her university life, and for ten weeks she was dealing with memories that had been well hidden years before. But she says that talking and realising she was not alone helped her come through the other side.

"The classes truly turned my life around. I had to face up to going through hell - but I came back a stronger person. I gained control over a situation that I had no control over as a child. I could love myself again and move forward.

"EastEnders is inevitably arousing a lot of emotion in many thousands of people, whatever their abuse. It is touching on areas that many families will be able to relate to.

"All I want to reassure people about is that there is hope - there is life again and there is a better life.

"The unbearable binds can be torn free."

Maureen Ryan runs Survive, a York-based organisation set up to help adult female survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Survive's telephone helpline has been inundated with calls following the recent EastEnders storyline involving sexual abuse and domestic violence.

And as a result, Survive has joined forces with York Women's Aid to set up a new self-help group for women who have been abused at any point in their lives.

Maureen said: "The truth about Zoe being a result of Kat's abuse at the hands of her uncle has hit many homes in this area. It's an emotional and devastating story-line and one which is mirrored in thousands of families.

"The family is almost ignoring Kat's needs and that is very common when such an explosion goes off."

Viewers have not only been faced with the harsh reality of sex abuse, they have also witnessed the physical and mental torture used on Kat's sister Mo by her husband, Trevor.

"The show has handled the intricate and intimate storylines very well," said Maureen. "It has highlighted what really goes on behind the scenes of what outwardly looks like a happy family. Now that abuse has been thrust into all our sitting rooms, we have to be prepared for the effects it has on men, women and children.

"Abuse is a harsh reality of our everyday life - but we want people to know that there is help if you want it.

"Like this survivor of child abuse has said, there is life and hope after abuse, in whatever form it takes."

The first meeting of the new self-help group will take place on January 21. For more details telephone 01904 646036 or 01904 638813.