Mother courage

It's fitting then that the mum from Northallerton has just won an award in a national competition honouring brave parents. After years of trying for a baby and three failed IVF attempts, Jackie and her husband Stuart had given up on becoming parents.

When Jackie's beloved mother died, they believed life couldn't get much worse.

A year to the day after her mother's death, Jackie discovered she was expecting - she had conceived naturally. She named her daughter Melissa Miriam, after her mum. But their joy was short lived. Just months after Melissa was born, Jackie began to suffer from depression.

The 37-year-old local government officer recalls how she would lie on the sofa unwilling to move, having lost all interest in life. "I just wanted to die. It was awful. I lay there all day unable to even look after the baby. I had to give up work and really did feel that I was dying. Stuart and my family were terribly worried and, like my GP, they thought my depression was a delayed reaction to mum's death.

"But soon I developed other symptoms. I gained weight and was hungry all the time. I developed bad stretch marks on my tummy, grew facial hair on my chin and my back began to develop a hunch. I felt like a freak and as the symptoms worsened so my depression grew. All the joy I had felt when Melissa was born had disappeared."

When a psychic fair visited town, Jackie's sister encouraged her to go: they hoped they might make 'contact' with their late mum.

Instead, the psychic picked up some 'vibes' coming from Jackie.

"She told me I was giving off bad vibes, giving her pain in her legs and arms. She checked me over and told me I had a hormone imbalance."

Jackie went home in a daze, but later went back to her doctor, demanding more tests. She was referred to a specialist whose diagnosis confirmed what the psychic had 'seen'. Jackie had Cushings Disease, a tumour on the pituitary gland which causes the body to produce too much steroid. It has no known cause but it can be life-threatening. A scan showed Jackie had a tumour at the base of her brain behind the nose. It had to be removed or she would die.

"I burst into tears," recalls Jackie. "I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing my husband and daughter again. I wanted to run away and hope it would disappear of its own accord. But that didn't happen."

Jackie and Stuart were warned that the procedure could affect their chance to have another child.

"We decided to go ahead as we never thought we'd have another child: we thought we were lucky enough to have had one child," says Jackie.

The operation was a success. Jackie made a good recovery and the dreadful side effects of Cushings disappeared. One shock, however, was that she developed diabetes after the operation. A second surprise, was that she fell pregnant - again, naturally.

"I had the tumour removed in January 2000 and our son was born in May 2001. We called him Matthew as it means 'gift from God'," said Jackie.

"It's like a dream. He is very special as we didn't expect to have another child and it is so nice to have a boy and a girl. I feel really lucky and privileged to have these two and to be alive."

Stuart, 34, who works for a builder's merchants, nominated Jackie for the Parents of Courage Awards organised by Mother and Baby Your Amazing True-Life Stories magazine.

Jackie says the award is really for the two of them, as he has shown incredible courage and support through the past few years.

"He's been excellent and really stuck by us. My illness could easily have caused a ruction in the marriage as I just didn't want to know anyone. He has gone through as much as I have and we feel very privileged to have won this award."

The couple plan to enjoy a family holiday with their £500 runner-up prize.

Dani Zur, editor of Mother & Baby Your Amazing True-Life Stories Magazine, says: "Faced with the prospect of leaving her husband and the daughter she waited so long to have, Jackie took the decision that she would never let the disease win. The courage with which Jackie fought back is an inspiration to anyone with a life-threatening illness."

Jackie hopes her story will help others. "There will be people out there who might have the same disease as I had. I hope they have a happy ending like mine."

Updated: 09:03 Tuesday, April 16, 2002